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Dog dilemma

One of my dogs … the beautiful Nadja …

… is, to put it nakedly, mad as a hatter. Always has been.

She came to me as a foster seven years ago. She was probably about a year old then, and in her short life she’d already had a litter of puppies, been in an accident that damaged a leg, and finally been abandoned in her backyard when her family moved away. (A neighbor noticed after she’d been untended for a week.)

The first day I had her she busted out of a crate and tried to chew her way through a wall. I adopted her out with a special provision added to the contract saying that she was known to have separation anxiety and to be destructive and that the adopter use crate training and other means to work with the problem.

The adopter didn’t. She brought Nadja back after a week, describing the dashboards gnawed, windows broken, and carpets destroyed. About $2,000 worth of damage, she said.

I ended up keeping Nadja. When not being an engine of destruction, she was a blandly sweet girl. Eventually she became comfortable enough not to wreck the house as long as she had other dogs for company.

But now she’s eight or nine, and since we moved into town, the “mad Nadja” has come forth again. This time it’s taking the form of fear-aggression toward neighbor’s dogs (among other problems). Walking around the neighborhood can be like having a Tasmanian devil on the end of the leash.

Furrydoc has put her on clomipramine; it helps some. But as time goes on, Nadja seems able to override the calming effect of the medication. For now, she has good days and bad days — and there’s no guessing which will be which.

To make things harder, the “selective deafness” she’s always had when it comes to doing what I want is rapidly turning into real deafness.

Several times lately I’ve thought about asking Furrydoc to euthanize Nadja. Then I see her being her sweet, quiet self around the house and I feel like a complete sh*t for even thinking such thoughts. Still, the problems are getting worse and nothing is helping — not training, not conditioning, not even (in the long run) the meds.

As I wrote this, a long email came from Doc, answering my question about how she knew when one of her huskies was losing her mind. It was a good email — warm and comforting and thoughtful. Real, sad voice-of-experience. But of course also inconclusive.

I’ve had old, sick dogs euthanized before. And once at my request Furrydoc put down a foster dog, about Nadja’s age, who became violent. There never seems to be a right time, but it sure helps when the dog gives clear signs.

Sometime — this year, next year, who knows? — I have to face the question: Do I put Nadja down what seems like way, way too early and feel like the jerk of the universe, or do I wait and risk her doing something dangerous?

13 Comments

  1. Benjamin
    Benjamin September 5, 2012 10:41 pm

    I remember a program on NPR a few years ago (I know, I know. I’ve stopped listening now but is it any worse that a Clear Channel station these days?) about when to euthanize pets. The vet’s general advice was to look in the pets eyes and see if there was still that spark that made you love them so much in the first place. That doesn’t sound like it will be very helpful in your case.

    Thankfully when I’ve had to make that decision it was easier than your situation. I had two brothers and when the hyper one was ten his arthritis had gotten so bad his rear legs had become too painful to use. Saying goodbye was one of the most painful things I’ve ever done. He was my dog and was not as affectionate to anyone else but seeing him suffer… I just couldn’t let it continue.

    His laid back brother made it another ten years but his eyesight and hearing had gone and arthritis was setting in on his rear legs too. He looked like such and old man by the end, his fur had gone all gray. He was so sweet but I could tell he was no longer the happily lazy dog he once was.

    So he lasted a year after the cat I got a year before them. She wasn’t euthanized but just went off into the woods one day and didn’t come back but she was mouse, squirrel and chipmunk hunting right up to the end. She liked decapitating them for some reason. My little tricoteuse would would curl around my head every night, if she had anything planned for me she didn’t follow through.

    I should count myself fortunate that I had two pets live until the ripe old age of twenty though I still miss them and haven’t gotten new pets. Some day but hell, I just had a tear run down my cheek writing this and it has been four years. (Such a wimp).

    You are in an unenviable position, Nadja looks like a sweetheart and you’re being forced to make a tough decision.

    A friend of mine was recently… what’s the word for being involuntarily committed due to mental issues? But locked up due to bad chemicals in his brain likely due to bad chemicals being prescribed to him rather than his self medication of a certain plant with which he was fine. Should he be incarcerated because he is potentially a danger to himself or others? Should Nadja be put down because she might be a danger to others?

    It is hugely complicated, she may never harm a soul or she may kill. No one knows. My friend may be harmless or he may pull out the 1911 and Glock he keeps at his shop and start shooting. Unenviable.

  2. Water Lily
    Water Lily September 6, 2012 4:12 am

    Did she have any vax right before she became fear aggressive again? Sometimes that triggers it. I used to pet-sit and one of my clients had a dog that became aggressive and reactive right after being vaccinated. BTW, Chlorella and Spirulina bind to heavy metals (like the mercury and aluminum in vax) and flush them from the body.

    I’ve read a lot of material that suggests a change in diet might help with negative canine behavior. If you haven’t done so already, perhaps switch to grain-free food, or if she is on grain-free already, switch proteins or brands. Fish oil is beneficial as well. (I know that especially if you foster, a raw diet is too expensive- but I have seen incredible changes in dogs after they transition from kibble to raw)

    Hope this suggestion helps.

    It’s such a hard decision. I hope I don’t have to make it for my pooch for a very long time.

  3. MamaLiberty
    MamaLiberty September 6, 2012 5:54 am

    I’ve had to euthanize two very old, sick dogs myself, so do not envy your dilemma. At least there was no real question in either case for me, but it was terrible anyway. It took almost 14 months after the last one, but I’ve finally found another young dog to be my companion, and I’m really happy about it even though I may very well face the same terrible choice down the road.

    One dog I had was the exception to the old age/suffering situation. I “rescued” a pair of Australian Shepherds when my sons were small, and these dogs were amazing help with the livestock, as well as with the children. Salt of the earth type dogs the previous owner simply could not keep when she moved to the city.

    Soon after they arrived, the female had puppies. We decided to keep the “runt,” always a weakness of mine. He was sturdy and we thought his aggressiveness was simply a product of having to contend with the larger members of the litter for food. Unfortunately, that didn’t turn out to be the case. He was just plain aggressive.

    By the time he was 6 months old, he could not be trusted and had to stay in the kennel. After biting both of the boys once, and me twice, all in the same day, this very beautiful animal had to be put down. Just about broke my heart. But the parents of this little monster were neutered as fast as I could get it done, you can bet.

  4. Joel
    Joel September 6, 2012 6:55 am

    Ah, the beauteous, crazy-as-a-bedbug Nadj. I knew her well.

    Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, Claire. No point feeling guilty over what’s not your fault.

  5. Woody
    Woody September 6, 2012 7:22 am

    Claire, As every serial dog owner knows they always break your heart in the end. Like Joel says, you gotta do what ya gotta do.

    On the gripping hand, if she is still controllable it might not be a bad thing to be known as the old lady with the vicious dog. There seem to be a number of somewhat shady characters in your neighborhood who might be deterred by the thought of being eaten by Nadja.

    I know you will do the right thing, whatever that turns out to be.

  6. Karen
    Karen September 6, 2012 9:38 am

    I wish I had a magic answer for you Claire, because I know the agony of the possible decision you may have to face.

    If it were me, I think I’d try a few things to accomodate Nadja. Could furrydoc up her med dosage? If walking in the neighborhood is too trying for her, walk somewhere else. I seem to recall you mentioning an old logging road with little or no other dog traffic. Try having her wear her bugout backpack on walks and see if that “job” distracts her. Or maybe just don’t walk her, but have her get her exercise in the safety of the backyard with one of Ava’s tennis balls.

    If no accomodation calms her down, then you have to consider the potential physical danger to yourself, Robbie and Ava, to say nothing of having something happen that lands you in jail for having a dangerous dog, at which time all three might end up being euthanized.

    It’s also worth remembering that losing her would be a terrible heart loss for you, but it would free Nadja from her fears. It wouldn’t be a cruelty to her. Mental illness is just as much a suffering as any physical disease where it’s so much easier to see and understand the pain.

    You’ve given her a wonderful life that probably no one else would have. In your magnificent heart, this painful decision isn’t for a second about the mere inconvenience of having a mad hatter, but about what would truly be best for Nadja.

  7. Claire
    Claire September 6, 2012 9:48 am

    Thank you, guys, for all the thoughts and advice.

    I have to clear one thing up. Actually, it’s a confession I have to make; Nadja’s death wouldn’t break my heart. I hope that doesn’t mean I’m a cold b*tch. Saying good-bye to other dogs has been heartbreaking. If Robbie or Ava went … terrible. I still mourn my heart-dog, Jasmine, after all these years. Nadja? I don’t know; she and I have never bonded. She’s a difficult child. Maybe I’m a bad dog-mom. I want to do right by her; but her death would be a relief.

    Karen, indeed. Since Nadja seems peaceful in the house and yard, I’m considering cutting back on her walks. I do already take her in the woods, and she’s been fine there until recently. But around the neighborhood … well, we’ll see.

  8. Claire
    Claire September 6, 2012 9:55 am

    Benjamin, you had two live to be 20, and one of those was a dog? Remarkable.

    Water Lily, thank you for the diet advice. The dogs’ food isn’t 100% grain-free; it has rice. But they don’t get wheat, corn, artificial colorings, or any of the usual culprits. Indeed I had just one dog I’d try feeding raw. I don’t think diet is the problem with Nadj, but that’s always worth looking at.

    MamaLiberty, sigh, I know what you mean about that runt. Some dogs do just seem “born bad,” despite all talk to the contrary. Many years ago I had a German shepherd mix I raised from a three-week-old puppy. I know for a fact she was never abused, neglected, or mistreated in any way. But by the time she was a year old she was so fear-aggressive to both humans and other dogs that I had to have her put down. Maybe nowadays a behaviorist could do something with her. But back then, I sure couldn’t.

    Karen, BTW, we have doubled the dose on the meds once, which did help remarkably for a few months. I’m really not sure how much we’re dealing with now is mental deterioration and how much is just Nadja’s nature; she’s always been a pretty strange dog …

  9. Joel
    Joel September 6, 2012 12:52 pm

    Maybe I’m a bad dog-mom.

    Nope. I’ve seen you in action. That’s not the explanation. As you yourself (and others) said, sometimes you just get one that goes strange. They’re not happy animals, and that Chinese obligation we take on when we bring them home only goes so far.

  10. Plug Nickel Outfit
    Plug Nickel Outfit September 6, 2012 3:11 pm

    Similar things have been laying heavily on my mind the last few days – I can feel for what you must be thinking, Claire. My cat – companion of 14+ years (16+ yo – no one knows for sure…) went into crash mode a few days ago from what’s likely renal failure. If you’d have asked me a few days ago – I would have guessed that she only had 12 hours or so. She seems to have stabilised – but in no way recovered.

    The ‘right thing’ is what we seek – but there are going to be times that we can’t know. Quality of life, comfort, and the easing of pain are the principles I’m trying to be guided by.

    I can say this, Claire – I’ve read enough of your writing to think that you both have the knowledge and understanding of the issues at hand – and the absolute will to use them. That’s an awful lot more that some animal owners ever put to the task.

  11. Claire
    Claire September 6, 2012 5:39 pm

    PNO — I hope when the time comes, you and your cat help make it easy for each other. Renal failure seems to get so many cats.

    Thank you for your confidence in me, but the decision you face is more heartbreaking.

  12. Water Lily
    Water Lily September 6, 2012 8:02 pm

    Claire, I don’t think you’re cold. Sometimes we don’t bond with certain dogs, or they don’t bond with us.

    Happened to me once.

    (On a whim, I offered to take someone’s dog if “something happened to them.” Then the dog owner’s husband got sice, She asked me to take her dog. Of course, I had to do it. The dog and I never bonded, though she is very sweet and loving. It had a happy ending though. The former owner’s husband got better, and I asked her if she wanted her dog back. She was thrilled. I visited them recently and they’re very happy together.)

    BTW, I totally understand about raw feeding and multiple dogs. One of the many reasons I only have only one very small dog – she doesn’t eat much!! 🙂

  13. Jim Bovard
    Jim Bovard September 7, 2012 8:43 am

    Claire, you’ve been very good to dogs for many years. Spare yourself second thoughts on doing what is best for you in this case. There is an ‘opportunity cost’ to the problems caused that perhaps preempts you from more things than you know.

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