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Great literature has many uses

Drywalling today. Ugh. Far from my favorite job, especially when I’m working alone. I’d have given anything to have help lifting that top piece into place and holding it flat while I screwed it down.

But I know this is a job I can do on my own. I’ve done it before with bigger pieces than this on higher walls than this. I will not allow some silly bit of gypsum and paper to defeat me, even if it does seem to outweigh me today and even if I am feeling old, weak, and wimpy.

First I dragged that bookshelf over and lifted the sheet up on it. That seemed like plenty of work right there. I was already shaking, both from weakness and from apprehension that I’d drop the drywall and break it (along with heaven knows what else in the room) when I tried to lift it the final foot. I just. Could. NOT. I tried slipping a sturdy box between the bookcase and the drywall to achieve that last foot of height, but simply didn’t have the oomph.

So I went and fetched some helpers, one by one. Thank you Black & Decker for your Complete Guide to Home Repair. Thank you Allen Drury (and Allen Drury and Allen Drury); very glad you wrote such thick novels! Thanks, Harry Turtledove for also writing massive tomes. Finally, bless your witty (and much less verbose) self, Alec Guinness. Your light-and-easy memoir (not shown) lifted that weighty slab of drywall to precisely the height where I could push it into place, then body slam it long enough to get a couple of screws in.

The moral of this story: Don’t ever let any sweat-stained ignoramus tell you books aren’t good for anything.

11 Comments

  1. Desertrat 1
    Desertrat 1 November 26, 2017 4:45 pm

    Multitudinous kudos! I hate sheetrock. Just because I know how doesn’t mean I have to like it. The stuff was new to the market when I was Shanghied into helping my step-father in an 1,800 sq-ft house–at age twelve. Yup, up-holding is a PITA.

    You’ve shown how hard-copy books can be much better than virtual. 😀

  2. Jim B.
    Jim B. November 26, 2017 9:32 pm

    They can also be “insulation”.

  3. Coyote Hubbard
    Coyote Hubbard November 26, 2017 10:59 pm

    @Jim B – good to 451 F 8-P

  4. Keith
    Keith November 27, 2017 2:47 am

    Good job!

  5. D. Majewski
    D. Majewski November 27, 2017 5:59 am

    You could always go to the orange store or the blue store and rent a drywall lift.

  6. Claire
    Claire November 27, 2017 7:18 am

    “You could always go to the orange store or the blue store and rent a drywall lift.”

    I could if I lived anywhere near an orange or a blue store.

    I could if I had a vehicle designed to carry a lift.

    I could if I had more than two large pieces of drywall that are going to require this one-above-the-other arrangement.

  7. Claire
    Claire November 27, 2017 7:41 am

    “You’ve shown how hard-copy books can be much better than virtual. 😀”

    LOL! As somebody who dislikes reading ebooks, I already knew that. But you’ve added a whole new (literal) dimension. Yep, try hoisting drywall with an ebook — or even a whole stack of Kindles, for that matter.

  8. Claire
    Claire November 27, 2017 7:43 am

    They can also be “insulation”.

    True. And they probably are to this day, given that a lot of attic insulation is blown-in cellulose — aka paper. But as Coyote Hubbard notes, it’s best to treat that paper first with a fire-retardant chemical.

  9. Joel
    Joel November 27, 2017 10:35 am

    “Don’t ever let any sweat-stained ignoramus tell you books aren’t good for anything. ”

    😀 Amen.

    Though when it comes to drywall I mostly use them for purposes of procrastination.

  10. ExpatNJ
    ExpatNJ November 27, 2017 12:20 pm

    Books can also be used to create improvised bullet-resistant shielding (see original “MythBusters”, etc). But, it is probably a good idea to test any designs thoroughly before employing …

  11. Bob Adkinson
    Bob Adkinson November 28, 2017 12:42 pm

    FWIW, I used to drive a couple of 16 nails about 4’1/8″ below where I wanted the top of the sheet to go. Then I lifted the sheet, put the bottom on the the nails(gently), then tipped it up vertical. Then it was only a matter of ooching that last 1/8″ while I was getting a couple screws in it.

    I figured all I had to do was to outsmart the sheet of drywall. 🙂

    Bob

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