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Memory Lane: “A Cut of Catastrophe”

So yesterday I found that 2003 CD compilation of my articles. That was fun.

The idea Mac proposed and Comrade X seconded about making copies and selling them is interesting. I’ll think about that as I read through the disc’s contents. Some of the pieces are definitely outdated, though even those might have nostalgia value.

There’s “Land Mine Legislation,” for instance (aka “Pearl Harbor Legislation” and a gazillion other titles). It came out in 1996/7 right after 101 Things to Do ‘Til the Revolution. I was still dizzy from the unexpected notoriety of the book when that article went viral — before anybody knew that “viral” could refer to something other than the black plague or a bad cold.

Man, did that thing get around! I quickly lost track of the titles various sites kept giving it.

Yeah, some of the articles on that CD are still … not bad. Worth a new look.

I thought y’all might enjoy another one that feels amazingly current despite being written about and shortly after the 2001 Nisqually Earthquake. It seems FEMA’s fumblings, political correctness, and the obligation of the fedgov to peddle money at people who don’t need it are … sadly durable.

What follows is absolutely true (except for the ketchup bottle; no ketchup bottles were harmed in the the writing of this article). A few details were changed to protect the innocent. The guilty didn’t need their details altered — though they did need some good old mocking.*

Without further ado, I present for your entertainment, “A Cut of Catastrophe.”** Enjoy!

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* With some of the best wisecracks stolen from two people who are credited at the bottom of the article.

** There’s some lovely formatting on the CD — graphics that didn’t make it onto that html file. The navigation links aren’t active, either, on the version posted here. But that’s as it should be. I might see if I can do something about the missing graphics eventually. But for now …

7 Comments

  1. larryarnold
    larryarnold February 11, 2018 11:41 am

    I think I’ll send this link to my son-in-law. Maybe he can get a FEMA rebate on the $7 he paid my grandson to pick up all the pinecones that Irma dropped in their yard.

    Not that the government’s totally useless. I was working in a gun store when Katrina hit, and even 600 miles from the coast we had a short run on handguns, paid for with FEMA “emergency funds” gift cards.

  2. MamaLiberty
    MamaLiberty February 11, 2018 12:02 pm

    That’s great, Claire! Wonderful story… and it has been many years since I thought of Tina Terry.

  3. Comrade X
    Comrade X February 11, 2018 12:19 pm

    I’s wants some Tax-Tit dollars too!

  4. j
    j February 11, 2018 12:58 pm

    I don’t believe I ever read that one! Thanks.

  5. Tahn. L.
    Tahn. L. February 11, 2018 3:14 pm

    Thanks Claire, I sure would like to read a “Return To Hardyville” or something. I miss that place.

  6. MacGregor Phillips
    MacGregor Phillips February 11, 2018 4:25 pm

    That is definitely one article I have never read before, and it was great. Can’t wait to buy the CD……real soon now!

  7. Ron Johnson
    Ron Johnson February 12, 2018 4:05 am

    Larry, I had a similar experience in the shoe business right after Katrina. Suddenly, in St Louis, we were selling lots of alligator shoes for hundreds of dollars, and in Houston we were selling like crazy the kinds of shoes that few Texans would normally wear. The St Louis thing last a month or so, but Houston, which got the great bulk of N’orleen’s refugees, went on for about six months. All paid for with Fema cards.

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