… Now that momentum is building for the one true “DC outsider” candidate, an independent who’s bound to make an impact.
Yes, Sweet Meteor O’ Death has distinct advantages over both The Hillary and The Donald.
I was even going to buy a bumper sticker* for this outstanding write-in candidate. In the end, I quailed at the price and did not order. Yet the price does hint, at the very least, that SMOD is a sincere believer in capitalism — at least in the “whatever the market will bear” wing of capitalism.
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What? You think Sweet Meteor O’ Death** might even be more unpredictable than Trump, more bloody than never-met-a-war-I-didn’t-like Clinton? You don’t want to “waste your vote” with a write-in?
Well then, there’s always the newly minted Libertarian Party ticket. I was sorry to see the colorful John McAfee loose out this weekend (though perhaps just as well; it would be rather inconvenient to have one’s candidate of choice extradited in the middle of the campaign to face murder charges in a pipsqueak country), Gary Johnson ain’t bad.
And William Weld — William Weld??? — as VP? Well, at least that might win the ticket some v*tes in Massachusetts. I hear they’re not too picky about what they consider “libertarian” in that desperate corner of the nation.
Me, I’m standing tall with SMOD (until I’m squished flat by SMOD). And will be continuing my search for an affordable bumper sticker or lawn sign until Doomsday. Which, if enough of us v*te for our favorite candidate this November, may come sooner than we think!
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* Don’t miss the product reviews.
** I have just been informed by alert Commentariat members that SMOD and Giant Meteor are two different meteors. I decry this obvious and crude attempt to divide the Killer Meteor v*te. Clearly a craven ploy of some political trickster from the Establishment.
Holy crap, thirteen bucks (and that’s down from the twenty he was asking)! Is he nuts? If I went to the printer we used for TZP, I could get these made for a few cents apiece. Is he printing these things himself on a desktop inkjet?
I wonder how many orders they’re getting. One comment says it’s just one guy. And sounds as if demand is outstripping their supply as well, which is a good thing. And, price is now $13 including shipping.
I wonder whether that bumper sticker is the same campaign. You’d think if it was SMOD, then the bumper sticker would have matching graphics. They linked to a teechip.com site for merchandise.
Aha! There’s a competing Meteor Candidate. Appears to be new on the scene. Possibly, launched on Twitter specifically to feed interest in the bumper sticker.
Accept no substitutes! Vote for the orginal!
All the damned meteor candidates are the same. One big party.
OMG, so Giant Meteor is trying to take v*tes away from SMOD? Or vice versa? This has GOT to be the work of the mainstream parties. You know how they are: divide and conquer.
“it would be rather inconvenient to have ones candidate of choice extradited in the middle of the campaign to face murder charges in a pipsqueak country”
Not much of a consideration — McAfee has never been charged with murder anywhere, and the US does not have mutual extradition with Belize even if they DID charge him, which they won’t.
SMOD 2016 is the way to go!
I have this one as my Twitter cover.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CGvXrEvWQAAnZ-F.jpg
Oh, I like that one, Nicki. I’m still shocked, though, to find that Forces of Evil are trying to split the Killer Meteor v*te.
“Not much of a consideration — McAfee has never been charged with murder anywhere, and the US does not have mutual extradition with Belize even if they DID charge him, which they won’t.”
Okay. True. I just wasn’t in the mood to let a little thing like that lack of an extradition treaty get in the way of a good line.
Well, Claire – you know there’s a reason why they’re the Evil Forces of Evil. No meteor is safe from their evil clutches!
http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/418998/real-primary-cthulhu-v-smod-jonah-goldberg
http://www.cafepress.com/+2016+bumper-stickers
And a compromise:
http://www.transterrestrial.com/?p=60597
You won’t get squished flat by SMOD or Giant Meteor. Will never happen.
You’d vaporize long before they squished you.
Personally, if I could vote in the US, I’d be with Cthulhu. You Meteor people are just like everyone else, wanting the ‘big man’ to come and solve all your problems. If you want to end humanity you have to get involved. You have to make sacrifices, probably human ones.
Kent, That kind of political rhetoric is disappointing. Please stick to the facts.
Stop shattering our illusions, Kent! :-p
> http://www.cafepress.com/+2016+bumper-stickers
Heisenberg would probably make a decent president.
Hey, if total annihilation is your goal (and a worthy goal it is), then several candidates come to mind:
– Gozer the Destructor
– the planet killer
– The Lexx (Okay, you need to elect the person who has the power of command. Is that still Stanley Tweedle?)
– Emperor Palpatine
I think SMOD has the advantage here, due the simple inevitability of its trajectory. And it’s certain that at least some of Earth’s inhabitants will be squished flat. Outside of the immediate impact zone, where no doubt there will be very high heat, secondary effects will bring all manner of unpleasant ways to die. And the likelihood of an ocean impact is higher, so with tsnumi, earthquakes, and the devastation which results, lots of squishing is in the cards.
We just moved all the way across the country so we’d have front row seats for the Cascadia event, https://www.fema.gov/cascadia-rising-2016.
Giant, Sweet or otherwise, I’m gonna be really, really irked if we get squished (or vaped) by some meteor first.
I’ve worked as an Elections Inspector for several years now, and I remember saying back in 2006 that if “Burn DC down and start over” had been on the ballot, it would’ve won by a landslide.
I wonder how much longer TPTB will be able to keep tossing lit matches into the powder keg before it finally blows.
I second the nomination of Cthulhu. No more voting for the lesser evil.
Yog-Sothoth for VP.
I was going to ask if SMOD has replaced Cthulhu as the alternative of choice, but I see that Jonah Goldberg beat me to it. Good article; thanks for the link.
As to the Johnson/Weld Libertarian ticket, I was a delegate at the convention in Orlando where they were chosen, and witnessed the whole thing. (Neither was my choice, by the way.) Support for Johnson was lukewarm, which is why he didn’t win on the first ballot. Opposition to Weld was palpable; it was a most contentious convention. Johnson begged (literally) for Weld to receive the nomination, and eventually he prevailed. And perhaps there is some logic to the choice: despite some serious flaws (he’s not a 2nd Amendment devotee), Weld does hold at least some libertarian views, and as a former governor he will garner serious media attention in a way Judge Gray (last time) never could. The immediate goal is to get into the national debates, which requires 15% support in the polls. This combination could achieve that, especially in this fractious election. And if that happens, who knows? Johnson/Weld could pick up a lot of the “NeverTrump” people and disaffected Sanders supporters (the libertarian position on social issues isn’t far off from theirs). In a three-way race you only need 34%, not 50%, to win. This could be fun.
As a Libertarian Johnson/Weld does not enthuse me, but as a pragmatist I’m comfortable with it and acknowledge the validity of the argument. I’ll have their signs in my yard.
Gary Johnson has certainly led an exuberant and interesting life outside of politics. He seems like a perfectly normal human being. I knew little about him and have been investigating. He’s someone who has always pushed himself to the limits of human endurance, whether climbing Everest, cycling, running, skiing, or hang gliding. To me this shows a desire to live life to the fullest, perhaps a philosophy of seeing and testing the best in oneself. His open minded libertarian beliefs seem like a perfect match for the man.
I hope that somehow there is a political miracle and he wins. Wouldn’t that be more than interesting, having a decent person elected President?