{"id":14687,"date":"2013-08-02T01:18:17","date_gmt":"2013-08-02T08:18:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.backwoodshome.com\/blogs\/ClaireWolfe\/?p=14687"},"modified":"2013-08-02T01:18:17","modified_gmt":"2013-08-02T08:18:17","slug":"anonymous-on-cancer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.clairewolfe.com\/blog\/2013\/08\/02\/anonymous-on-cancer\/","title":{"rendered":"Anonymous: On dying of cancer"},"content":{"rendered":"

The following arrived yesterday from a no-reply email address and with no identifier other than “Anonymous.” I believe this is from the same “Anonymous” who posted at Joel’s Gulch the other day<\/a> and posted here one time more than a year ago, again surrounding himself with privacy protections. <\/p>\n

I have no way of verifying any of this. But I don’t need to. It rings true. <\/p>\n

So I’ll just say thank you, Anonymous, and hope you enjoy every possible moment of the rest of your life. As crusty old Elias Alias would say — Salute!<\/i><\/p>\n

—–<\/p>\n

From Anonymous:<\/b><\/p>\n

Claire, I was going to post this as a comment to today’s (Aug 1st) blog entry but decided to send it via anonymous email instead because of its length and rambling nature. You may do with it whatever you like.<\/p>\n

===========<\/p>\n

I am also one who was supposed to make a complete recovery from cancer surgery and then get on with my life. Didn’t work out that way though.<\/p>\n

Several months following the removal of a kidney, cancer was discovered in my lymph nodes. My oncologist suggested an aggressive chemo protocol but warned me that “a cure is unlikely.” Following four months of treatment a PET scan revealed that some of the tumors had been reduced significantly while others had shown less shrinkage. The side effects of the treatment were very unpleasant, especially for someone like me who has been a vigorous outdoor person all my life. The drugs had had negative effects on on my remaining kidney so the second round of treatment involved only a single drug and was not expected to be as effective as the first round. After several treatments I told my oncologist that I did not want to spend the rest of my life feeling as bad as the treatment was making me feel. She suggested I take a
\ntreatment holiday and make a road trip to visit family several months sooner than I had been planning on. I will be leaving for Arizona in a couple of weeks after the side effects have diminished somewhat.<\/p>\n

So where am I going with this tale? Not sure. <\/p>\n

I am going to die soon but oddly enough I am OK with that. How soon? Nobody seems willing to speculate, but sooner rather than later seems to be expected. I am appreciating all the things I’ve loved about life a lot more lately. Walks in the woods with my dogs, sunrises and sunsets, good food and good friends all seem more precious to me now. The trials and tribulations of life all seem so insignificant. Things that used to make me crazy I can easily ignore. Since I have only a short time left I intend to get the most out of it regardless of what others think I should be doing. <\/p>\n

When I told my doctor I wanted a DNR order she thought that was “very brave”. Other people have used that word with regard to my attitude also. All I can say is that it doesn’t feel that way to me. I am just trying to make the most rational decisions I can with the data I have. Someone close to me says it’s negative thinking and if I think positive, happy thoughts I might recover. If irrational thinking is what it takes to recover I’d rather go to my grave clear headed. That fits with my quality vs quantity philosophy I think.<\/p>\n

Finally it is my intention to die at home in the company of my dogs and loved ones. Dying in a hospital would be more unpleasant (for me and everyone else close to me) than necessary in my opinion and I’ll not be going that route if I can help it (and I’m confidant that I can). <\/p>\n

In closing let me say that your blog and Joel’s are great sources of enjoyment for me and have been for years. Thanks for that. I’ll be reading them and commenting occasionally until the end, whenever that is.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The following arrived yesterday from a no-reply email address and with no identifier other than “Anonymous.” I believe this is from the same “Anonymous” who posted at Joel’s Gulch the other day and posted here one time more than a year ago, again surrounding himself with privacy protections. I have no way of verifying any of this. But I don’t need to. It rings true. So I’ll just say thank you, Anonymous, and hope you enjoy every possible moment of the rest of your life. As crusty old Elias Alias would say — Salute! —– From Anonymous: Claire, I was…<\/p>\n

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