So. This urgent need came up for me to get to the Big City.<\/p>\n
I mean the Actual Big City (hereinafter ABC) as opposed to the place I laughingly call the big city (PILCTBC) or the cute little resort town (CLRT), the two places locals go to shop.<\/p>\n
I don’t currently have a working car. That has so far been no great problem. Yes, it’s been a gigantic grumple trudging on foot through the worst season the PNW has had in 30 years. But it’s not like I have to walk through Minnesota blizzards. It’s not like I even have to walk far to get anyplace. It’s been fine. Easy, really.<\/p>\n
But now I had to get to the ABC, the Real Deal, which is three hours away on the freeway. Not wanting to impose on a friend, I told my contact in the ABC I’d try to plot out a bus trip. I knew it would be complicated, but little did I really know.<\/p>\n
And this is where you smack head-on into the hazards of living in the wayback.<\/p>\n
Of course, there’s no public transport direct from the wayback to the ABC. And certainly no car rental outfits, taxis, Ubers, or any of the other things you civilized types are used to. So first I plotted a bus route that went through the PILCTBC. Uh oh. Not only would it take five buses<\/em> (from four different transit systems) plus an Uber (or a sixth bus from a fifth transit system) to get where I needed to go. But it couldn’t be done.<\/p>\n The buses were almost comically timed NOT to coordinate with each other. For instance the bus from the PILCTBC was scheduled to arrive precisely five minutes after<\/em> the Greyhound left for the ABC.<\/p>\n There was no way to take that route without staying overnight somewhere. And this, I remind you, for a trip that takes three hours by car.<\/p>\n Then I plotted the route through the cute little resort town (CLRT). Only three buses and an Uber (or a fourth bus) this time. But the bus from the CLRT to the ABC left early in the morning. And guess what? You can’t reach the CLRT early in the morning … unless you drive. <\/p>\n Then I thought about finding my way to the CLRT later in the day and renting a car. They wanted $140 minimum for the three hours I’d need their vehicle.<\/p>\n Headbang. Headbang. Headbang.<\/p>\n Finally I hit on a route that could be done in one day for some reasonable rate. It involved: three buses, two Ubers, and Amtrak. And it would get me to the ABC after an exhausting nine hours. Probably too late in the day to do any good.<\/p>\n I ended up prostrating myself at neighbor J’s feet, begging her to drive me in her nice, friendly car to the ABC. For money, for whatever you want. Just please, please, please, please, please don’t make me face government transit from the middle of nowhere to the Actual Big City.<\/p>\n Of course she said yes as easily as if blowing her whole day for me was a minor inconvenience. All she wanted in return was a tank full of gas and lunch at her favorite burger joint.<\/p>\n But you see what you were asking me to do, you folks who helpfully suggested back in February that I take a bus or a train — or hey, just rent a car! — to reach the ABC for my Big, Scary Medical Exam? Damn near caused me a nervous breakdown, merely attempting to make such nonsense work.<\/p>\n That’s one of the prices of living off the beaten path.<\/p>\n That is why I’m going to buy a car to replace Old Blue. And this time, even if I have to sell my soul to a bank and make payments for five years (something I have not done in decades), that car is not going to be another ancient beater. It’s going to be the car that will last me the rest of my life.<\/p>\n And get me wherever I need to go.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" So. This urgent need came up for me to get to the Big City. I mean the Actual Big City (hereinafter ABC) as opposed to the place I laughingly call the big city (PILCTBC) or the cute little resort town (CLRT), the two places locals go to shop. I don’t currently have a working car. That has so far been no great problem. Yes, it’s been a gigantic grumple trudging on foot through the worst season the PNW has had in 30 years. But it’s not like I have to walk through Minnesota blizzards. It’s not like I even have…<\/p>\n