{"id":32665,"date":"2017-09-04T17:19:34","date_gmt":"2017-09-05T00:19:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.clairewolfe.com\/blog\/?p=32665"},"modified":"2017-09-04T20:16:52","modified_gmt":"2017-09-05T03:16:52","slug":"gregory-gooch-rip-and-mourning-the-too-many-too-young-dead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.clairewolfe.com\/blog\/2017\/09\/04\/gregory-gooch-rip-and-mourning-the-too-many-too-young-dead\/","title":{"rendered":"Gregory Gooch, RIP. And mourning the too-many, too-young dead."},"content":{"rendered":"

We learned last week that Gregory Gooch — known to the Commentariat and members of TMM and Claire’s Cabal as either gooch or capn — died last May<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Gooch was a sweetheart of a guy whose last few years were difficult and impoverished. But if he had any inkling he was headed for an early death, he never said a word about it to any of his online friends.<\/p>\n

This is something that worries me; that online acquaintances will just disappear. With Gooch, I thought his absence was due only to the fact that he had a poor, and slow, Internet connection and couldn’t afford a better one. He was only in his 60s.<\/p>\n

Several other Commentariat members — that I know of — have died over the years. There was Fred A. (who went by so many nyms I never quite knew who he was), who kindly revealed his true identity to Joel and me toward the end, sending us large gifts along with an explanation that he had come into a long-awaited windfall — just in time to learn his “curable” cancer was terminal. I knew when he died because after that I was in touch with his wife. But now I’ve lost touch with her, too, and I don’t know whether it’s because she decided to stop communicating or if she, too, is gone.<\/p>\n

There was one of two commentors named Scott. One Scott (another sweetie) is still with us. I learned of the other’s passing only by happenstance, a year or so after the fact. I remember him struggling valiantly to earn a few bucks to keep himself going through chemo. I remember being hugely angry at another blogger who wouldn’t even respond to requests to publicize Scott’s endeavor, though it was right up that blogger’s alley and that blogger never hesitated to ask favors of his own. I was disappointed in myself for not being of more help.<\/p>\n

The worst, I think, was George Potter, known online as Gloryroad<\/a>. George, who could have been among the most noted writers of the 21st century. George, who called me “Sis.” George, crazy-volatile and a maker of bad choices, but always a vivid, full-of-life guy. George Potter who was so darned young and rakishly adorable that for a while I used a photo of him as my computer wallpaper. I think his brother posted to George’s FB page and the word spread from there.<\/p>\n

Probably there have been others who’ve quietly, and permanently, slipped away. Sometimes you find out. Sometimes you don’t. Of course, sometimes you might breathe a sigh of relief that a troll or a lunatic is no longer with us<\/a>. (That fond obituary hides a person who, when crossed online, would go to such extremes as attempting to get his “enemies” in trouble with the feds.)<\/p>\n

Still, it’s a sad and strange thought that people we become very attached to, people with vivid personalities, generous spirits, delightful senses of humor, and great things to say … just leave and we may never know what became of them.<\/p>\n

—–<\/p>\n

I don’t mean to make this “all about me,” but Gooch’s death adds to a disturbing toll.<\/p>\n

If you live long enough, of course you reach a point where friends, acquaintances, and family members start dying around you. When I first noticed it happening, I was shocked. I thought, “Wait a second. This isn’t supposed to start until a lot<\/em> later.” I can understand being surrounded by premature deaths if you’re a rock musician, a hardcore alcoholic, or a war veteran, for instance. But aren’t we all supposed to be living to 85 and beyond now? Isn’t 100 becoming common?<\/p>\n

In the last four or five years, I’ve lost friends (online and off) as young as 42 (George Potter; heart attack). The average age of the too-many dead has probably been 60. The very oldest was 70 — and even then she wasn’t OLD. She was a beautiful, active, lively, privileged woman with barely a gray hair on her head. She succumbed to the genetic doom of pancreatic cancer despite the most loving and most professional care in the world. She was also one of my dearest friends. Four years later I’m still aware of a terrible deep hole in life where Jill used to be.<\/p>\n

That’s just wrong<\/em>. When I am 90, I’ll expect to have more friends dead than alive. But not now<\/em>. And to know that surely some will just slip away unnoted is too sad for words.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We learned last week that Gregory Gooch — known to the Commentariat and members of TMM and Claire’s Cabal as either gooch or capn — died last May. Gooch was a sweetheart of a guy whose last few years were difficult and impoverished. But if he had any inkling he was headed for an early death, he never said a word about it to any of his online friends. This is something that worries me; that online acquaintances will just disappear. With Gooch, I thought his absence was due only to the fact that he had a poor, and slow,…<\/p>\n

Continue readingGregory Gooch, RIP. And mourning the too-many, too-young dead.<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,18,19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-32665","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-health-and-science","category-mind-and-spirit","category-miscellaneous","ratio-natural","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.clairewolfe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32665","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.clairewolfe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.clairewolfe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.clairewolfe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.clairewolfe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32665"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/www.clairewolfe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32665\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":32679,"href":"https:\/\/www.clairewolfe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32665\/revisions\/32679"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.clairewolfe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32665"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.clairewolfe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32665"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.clairewolfe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32665"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}