This morning a codger whose house I frequently pass stopped what he was doing, thrust his chin out, and gave me the Seriously Big Stinkeye. Not for the first time, either.<\/p>\n
I knew my crime: I was driving five miles an hour under the speed limit. Yes, under.<\/p>\n
A couple months back he flagged me down and lectured me for going the speed limit (25 mph). He wants the limit reduced to 15 mph. Anybody exceeding that earns his wrath for endangering pets and wildlife (never mind that most of us are pet owners ourselves and the neighborhood tends to run to staid old people and the respectable middle-aged).<\/p>\n
He’s taken to haunting city council meetings, ranting lurid tales of dead fawns in his driveway (he doesn’t have a driveway) and defunct opossums and their babies launched 20 feet into his yard (unlikely unless they were already airborne at the moment of impact) by the hordes of speeders racing up and down our street.<\/p>\n
Dead deer are likely; we’ve been overrun with the critters since the forest-product companies closed their woodlands. But at his request the police have sent patrol officers to watch us and even set up one of those “your speed is” devices next to Mr. Codger’s house. Except for the occasional stupid kid, there are no speeders.<\/p>\n
Mr. Codger believes none of this. So many dead animals have been launched into his yard (and his imagination) that he recently installed a vertical array of tarps to keep their flying corpses on the outside.<\/p>\n
This guy had a business in town many years ago. His management style was … eccentric. Now eccentricity may be morphing into mental illness or dementia. <\/p>\n
Getting the evil eye for driving past his house is creepy, but as long as he doesn’t grab a shotgun and shoot the tires out from under his passing neighbors for failing to adhere to his personal speed limit, it’s just something to live with.<\/p>\n
Thing is, he’s beginning to act goofy enough that shooting tires — or anything else — isn’t out of the question.<\/p>\n
He’s from an old local family, but I believe he’s the last of it. There’s nobody to curb his behavior or spot that he might be headed ’round the bend in the road between eccentric and insane.<\/p>\n
Mostly, I love this town and small-town life in general. But it has its weird moments, and Mr. Codger is just one of the “moments” we’re currently experiencing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This morning a codger whose house I frequently pass stopped what he was doing, thrust his chin out, and gave me the Seriously Big Stinkeye. Not for the first time, either. I knew my crime: I was driving five miles an hour under the speed limit. Yes, under. A couple months back he flagged me down and lectured me for going the speed limit (25 mph). He wants the limit reduced to 15 mph. Anybody exceeding that earns his wrath for endangering pets and wildlife (never mind that most of us are pet owners ourselves and the neighborhood tends to…<\/p>\n