Or<\/p>\n
Next time you think I’m showing too much sunshiny faith in humanity, remind me of this so I’ll get real again.<\/strong><\/p>\n You may recall that I handle email for a local animal-rescue group. Well, here’s the latest to cross our mailbox. Names changed to protect innocent and guilty alike:<\/p>\n Hi my name is [Moronia] and I adopted two kittens from you about two months ago their names were [Oliver Twist] n [Poor Pitiful Pearl]. I hate to have to ask if I can return them but seems like that is my last option. We started seeing signs of fleas a couple of weeks ago and have tried our best to treat the problem but with no success. I bath them every three days and have given them capstars* but this is only good for a couple of days. We are having a difficult time getting rid of them from our cats to our home, so I really hate to keep [Oliver] and [Pearl] in a home with fleas. I hope you guys will b able to rid them of their fleas. They are wonderful, very loving kittens that I hate to see leave but I know you guys can help them. Thank you and waiting for your response.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Oh yes! Her very, very, very last option<\/i>. Because you know, calling a vet or even using a search engine to discover one of the dozens of easy, effective methods of flea control would be just too<\/i> great a sacrifice. <\/p>\n Clearly, we’d be heartless villains to expect her to put herself through such an ordeal! No, no. Instead we must extend our loving hearts to this poor woman who has endured so much and struggled so valiantly. Yes, it’s now our duty to take back the formerly cute kitties who are now less-desirable — and somehow irreversibly flea-ridden — adolescents.**<\/p>\n And then — despite the fact that she has proven through arduous effort that Oliver and Pearl cannot be relieved of their fleas by any means known to humankind<\/i> — she’s confident that we, being gods of the animal world, will simply use our supernatural powers to render them flealess.<\/p>\n And — as always in these cases — it’s for the good of the kittieeeeees<\/i>.<\/p>\n —–<\/p>\n * Capstar kills adult fleas super-fast but does nothing to break the flea breeding cycle. It’s not designed to.<\/p>\n ** Of course, the fact that they’re no longer uber-adorable baby kitties has nothing whatsoever<\/i> to do with her sudden wish to be rid of them. Anyone who imagines such a thing must be a mean-spirited brute, not deserving of living in the same world with the tender-hearted Moronia.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Or Next time you think I’m showing too much sunshiny faith in humanity, remind me of this so I’ll get real again. You may recall that I handle email for a local animal-rescue group. Well, here’s the latest to cross our mailbox. Names changed to protect innocent and guilty alike: Hi my name is [Moronia] and I adopted two kittens from you about two months ago their names were [Oliver Twist] n [Poor Pitiful Pearl]. I hate to have to ask if I can return them but seems like that is my last option. We started seeing signs of fleas…<\/p>\n