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Sunday afternoon with a bloody Mary

Random musings …

You might remember (and possibly even care!) that I’ve been sanding cabinets in hopes of returning my kitchen to its 1950s splendor. You guys have been more than helpful with advice. It was so good I even took most of it!

Today’s been dry and sunny, so I spent the afternoon outside with cabinet doors, paint stripper, and an orbital sander. Pleasant work in pleasant conditions. But I got depressingly little done, and when I look at the acres of cabinets left to do, I quail (and perhaps even mallard and condor).

So I had a bloody Mary and contemplated bagging this operation and doing something easier but maybe a little quirky. Like painting the cabinets black. Or at least charcoal gray (very 50s looking, that, especially with the ridiculous pink countertops). I’m not sure whether that’s the bloody Mary talking or just common sense. The wood is turning out to have a lot of damage — water stains, burns, gouges — and it’s not as if it’s anything particularly elegant or has stunningly well-matched grain or anything. It’s just old, damaged maple veneer.

So am I just lazy, or would painting the cabinets (a weekend’s work, rather than an entire winter’s) be the course of wisdom?

Maybe another bloody Mary would help me decide.

—–

For the last few weeks I’ve been the assigned email contact for the local animal-rescue group. Can’t say I really know what I’m doing yet. I just forward legitimate messages to the various board members or foster families, reply to what I can, and delete the spam.

This morning an email arrived from what looked like a possibly legitimate source. But it contained nothing but a link, which didn’t look legitimate at all. So I deleted the message.

Few hours later, an email comes in from the same address — a real one this time — frothing with illiterate indignation. To wit:

I have not sent anything as far a connecting up to any links to any of you…..so my thanks go out to my daughter and her husband … for letting me know that I should change my password to my hotmail account ASAP…as each and every one of you should do too. Do it now….don’t wait!!

Seems like that some people in this world have nothing better to do with their time and their little lifes, than to get into other peoples personal business and destroy things.

So, I apologize for the acts of some poor fool out there in this big wide world, that has nothing better to do than to breach someones contact list and attatch a virus to it……..I hope that they catch them and hang them by their toenails!!

Notice: Not the slightest indication she realizes that the “fool” who hijacked her address book isn’t the only fool involved here.

Somehow, this woman strikes me as a one-person microcosm of the real world: a piss-poor education, a complete lack of any sense of responsibility, an iron sense of entitlement, cluelessness about self-defense, a conviction of her own superiority, and a certainty that everybody else should be harshly punished for “making” her a victim.

—–

Apparently, there’s a scientific reason why airline food tasts so awful. I don’t buy it, though. That doesn’t explain why it usually looks as Swanson’s TV-Dinnerish as it tastes.

—–

Good lord. How do you get so drunk you lose your three-year-old?

—–

I think the bloody Mary’s talking. It really is. I’ve only had one. I’m not on the verge of losing track of a child, or even a dog. But one is my limit. I should probably stop before I say something too “entertaining” or start posting naked pictures of myself (with lampshade discreetly covering my face, of course).

But it’s definitely not the bloody Mary talking when I say another huge thank you for all the book orders. Even over the weekend (usually a quiet time around the blog), they’ve continued to pour in.

I haven’t yet responded to those orders and queries that have come in since Saturday mid-day (and probably won’t for a few more hours; I hope you’ll understand). But I’m so moved. And so surprised. I’ve wondered lately whether I’m even relevant. This response me tells a happier story. (I feel like Sally Field — perky Gidget and the humble Flying Nun, considered a lightweight actress — giving her charmingly embarrassing Oscar-acceptance speech: “You like me! You really like me!” Sorry.)

Ahem.

Nearly everyone has ordered the special two-book deal. I was going to offer that until 40 copies of The Bad Attitude Guide had been taken. (After that, my average cost per book increases.) Figured it would require a couple of weeks to reach that point. But — ulp! — it’s here already. Or nearly so. So … I’m going to extend that offer through the first 50 copies of Bad Attitude. Then, regretfully, I’ll have to cut that deal off. I can take 12 more orders for the two-book special. Then, no more. So order early and often. (So many of you already have!)

Not to worry, though. I’ll offer other book specials through November. I’ll continue to offer both books at the regular prices. And I can still wheel and deal like crazy on Hardyville Tales where multiple copies are involved. BTW, if you’ve already contacted me about snailing an order, your books will be reserved for you. You won’t lose out on the special.

24 Comments

  1. Pat
    Pat October 17, 2010 5:40 pm

    No matter what you do with the cabinets — please don’t leave the pink countertops! I remember them way-back-when, and they’re awful. They won’t “grow on you”; instead you’ll get tired of them quick.

    And I’ve found some others interested in your books. I’d like to buy the two-book special.

  2. Claire
    Claire October 17, 2010 6:51 pm

    LOL, Pat, those countertops are going to have to grow on me. No way can I afford to replace them any time soon. It’s a pity they’re kind of beaten up. I’ve managed to bleach out most of the stains and dig most of the decades-old grime out of the edges of the little chrome borders. But in the high-use areas all those goofy gold sparklies are worn off. Nothing to do about that, I guess. (If anybody knows a way to restore them, speak right up.)

    A few years ago I’d have hated those countertops, too. But I dunno … they just make me smile.

  3. Marlana
    Marlana October 17, 2010 6:52 pm

    Our house has brady-bunch orange counter tops. My mom had the house built back in the late 70’s and we bought the house from her in 2003. We talk from time to time about changing the orange counters and ugly cabinets but figure it’s not worth changing at this point in our finances. They are functional and for now that’s enough.

    I think I rather enjoy your bloody mary-fueled Sunday musings, lol.

  4. Claire
    Claire October 17, 2010 7:04 pm

    Orange! OMG. I remember those. With dark walnut cabinets. And in the living room … orange shag carpeting, too.

    Makes pink look positively charming (even when sober). πŸ™‚

  5. Kent McManigal
    Kent McManigal October 17, 2010 7:16 pm

    No need for a lampshade. Just use a sombrero like I do.

  6. Sam
    Sam October 17, 2010 7:22 pm

    Paint ’em Claire! We had a similar kitchen, so my bride picked out the colors and we painted. Sort of a light (pale?) yellow cabinets and a light green (kind of). Whatever they are it is surely pleasant. Sure I miss quality wood cabinets, but these are just fine and cost a lot less.

  7. Claire
    Claire October 17, 2010 7:30 pm

    Sam, I appreciate your endorsement of my laziness. πŸ™‚

    I sort of like the idea of two tones, also. Well, right now they’re two tones that I’d rather not look at — bright green frames, white doors, bright green knobs. But subtle tones … that could work. Say charcoal gray frames, lighter gray doors.

    I could go crazy on the 50s thing and do turquoise. But while I can live with pink countertops and a faux copper flying saucer lamp fixture, I don’t think I could handle aqua or turquoise …

  8. Claire
    Claire October 17, 2010 7:31 pm

    Ummm … Like you do, Kent? Like you do when you send nekkid pictures of yourself around the Internet? (Got any URLs for us? I’ve seen photos of you (clothed), and if you don’t mind my saying so, you seem as if you could do naked pretty well.) (Uh oh, did I just say something sexist?)

  9. Ellendra
    Ellendra October 17, 2010 8:00 pm

    I vote for paint as well. As for the countertops, depending on what you do on those countertops you might be able to cover them with a modified tablecloth.

  10. Claire
    Claire October 17, 2010 8:03 pm

    Yah! Two votes for paint. I think we may have a majority — and we all know that this is a democracy, don’t we?

    Modified? Tablecloth? You mean just cut one to fit over them? Hm. That’s a thought.

    But the truth is … they have grown on me, and if I could just restore the gold sparklies in those few worn spots, I could live with them for a long, long time.

    BTW, speaking of the 50s, here’s a pretty good take on the dear, departed June Cleaver:

    http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv/2010/10/17/2010-10-17_barbara_billingsley_leave_it_to_beavers_june_cleaver_was_prototypical_american_m.html?r=entertainment

  11. naturegirl
    naturegirl October 17, 2010 8:29 pm

    ….I’m behind on all the reading here *blush*, but a quick observation on painting wood that is damaged: be careful of the color(s) you pick because sometimes paint will “bring out” the flaws almost as bad as stains would…..darker colors, and certain glosses ~ start with a small can and do one cabinet as a sample, saves tons of time and grief…..

    *off to catch up*

  12. Kent McManigal
    Kent McManigal October 17, 2010 10:00 pm

    Hehe. Thanks, Claire. No URLs (that I know of). I had an ex who was a photographer and she took lots of pics of both of us in various …. stages of dress … and positions … and….? Not sure what she did with them. I didn’t get the ones of myself when we split. Why would I want to since I can see me anytime? (See, I just looked.) There may be more floating around somewhere since digital photography is such a terrible temptation.

  13. Jim B.
    Jim B. October 17, 2010 10:47 pm
  14. Winston
    Winston October 17, 2010 11:03 pm

    Ahh home renovations. My family moved into a 100+ year old farmhouse when I was about 8, so I have been involved in quite bit of that. Before we showed up the house had been nearly completely redone….in the 70s. Talk about some friggin ugly wallpaper. Couldn’t really give you tips on colors or anything though… I vass chust followink orters!

    One thing I’ve noticed…When I’m in a “new” house, the lack of visible wood bothers me a little bit. My home has always had ALL natural, unpainted wood floors, doors, trim, window and door frames, and quite a few panelled walls. Not some fancy wood either…old wood with really rough grain and scratches and dents all throughout.

    Without it, things tend to seem sterile.

  15. -S
    -S October 18, 2010 5:02 am

    FWIW, my wife and I labored mightily to refinshed dinged-up, cheap maple veneer cabinets from the 1950s. Our countertop was orange, which we covered with a nice wall paper and several layers of industrial grade poly.

    The countertops looked great, the cabinets not so much. A year later we sprang for Ikea cabinets, and have those to this day.

    I’d vote for painting your cabinets; our experience suggests that there just isn’t that much payoff to refinishing them. E-mail me if you interested in more info on papering the countertops; that worked great.

  16. MamaLiberty
    MamaLiberty October 18, 2010 7:12 am

    I’d suggest painting the cabinets too, though any shade of gray would not be my first choice. I like a bright and sunny kitchen.

    Anyway, my first husband and I also bought an old farmhouse about 40 years ago, and the linoleum on the counter top was dreadful. I insisted that replacing it be the first project – well, right after getting the old claw footed bathtub to drain, of course.

    We thought about simply replacing the linoleum, but there were areas of the counter that had sunk, and the surface was terribly uneven. Removing the existing counter would have been difficult, and would have disturbed the integrity of the obviously home made cabinets under it.. so we chose to overlay the counter with tongue and groove boards, glued down. It raised the height of the counter an inch or so, but was not a problem. The boards were then sanded and covered with several coats of bar varnish – which turned out to be the most expensive part of the project. But it turned out beautifully, and with a little care functioned perfectly.

    My sister has VERY expensive granite counter tops now, but I don’t like them at all. Wood is very forgiving most of the time, but if you put a glass down just a little too hard on the granite… bang, broken glass.

  17. Claire
    Claire October 18, 2010 8:25 am

    Oh, I love it. More votes for painting. Democracy is truly a wonderful thing. πŸ˜‰

    MamaLiberty, the wooden countertops sound like an elegant solution. I’ve had them before and thought they were beautiful. They do take care and cleaning, but as you say they’re very forgiving.

    -S, I would never have thought of wallpaper and a poly sealant. That’s intriguing. For now, I plan to keep the countertops I have, but that could be an inexpensive interim solution when/if I decide to change.

    Winston — I agree on wood. This house has several rooms whose walls are real tongue-and-groove wood. I would love to bring back every bit of the wood that’s been painted over. There’s a lot of it. But I think -S sums it up when he talks about the payoff. It’s worth doing in some places. In others, it would just be bloody labor with minimal satisfaction.

    Speaking of wood: The attic room (as is typical of houses this age) was also built from tongue-and-groove wood, but of a type that was never meant to be exposed. It was covered with a variety of fiberboard that resembles Masonite. The fiberboard is hideous. But the wood underneath shows old mill stamps and was crudely nailed with big-headed nails and hasty hammer-bangs. Since it was never meant to show, nobody took the time to keep it pretty. Yet even with its flaws, the wood is high quality compared to most that you can get today. So up there I’ll probably tear down all that icky fiberboard and do something to restore the wood. But that’ll be the last project, possibly years from now. And I don’t mind taking months on that work, But the kitchen, which I have to see and use every day … Oh, I’d just LOVE to have that looking good right now!

  18. G.W.F.
    G.W.F. October 18, 2010 10:10 am

    I would like to add a vote to the paint the cabinets. I cannot agree more that solid wood cabinets look great; but, unless you can sand off the decades of wear and abuse they never come out the way you want. I have done four complete kitchen remodels in the last four years and every single one of them had white cabinets. If money were not an issue, I would have gone with solid wood every time. I just think when its all said and done a white kitchen comes off looking very clean and warm. I have had not problems selling a house afterward, because although it may not be the dream kitchen the buyer have in mind prior to looking, everyone seems to agree it has a nice look. I have seen people turned off by a dark wood kitchen, when they like light woods. I personally find oak kitchens to look very dated and that would turn me off. White is a color people seem to agree on, so it was the way I have gone.

    As for counter tops, you can actually paint them. Here’s a link I found going a little into this:

    http://www.thriftyfun.com/tf999197.tip.html

    I saw a Do-it-yourself program years ago, where they painted over old Formica and I was really surprised at the end result. They used a base color then a wide brush with a darker accent to blend in a vein and make it look like granite. At the start I figured it would look awful, but they totally pulled it off. Then end result was really nice. Personally, I think its well worth the cost of a Home Depot standard laminate counter top. They are relatively cheap (compared to all the other options) and can always be updated later when your budget allows.

  19. bumperwack
    bumperwack October 18, 2010 2:28 pm

    congrats on the books claire! I wanted the 25$ deal, but guess I need a job first…now for another bloody mary………………………….

  20. Claire
    Claire October 18, 2010 4:38 pm

    bumperwack. Ah feeel yr pain. Having to have a job is enough to drive anybody to drink.

    Ah well, the books will be around for a long time waiting for you. Maybe not the $25 special (the last of those just got taken). But who knows …?

  21. cctyker
    cctyker October 18, 2010 9:20 pm

    If your countertops are pink, do as my grand daughter does, paint the cabinets orange. You’ll never notice the countertops.

  22. Claire
    Claire October 19, 2010 6:56 am

    cctyker — LOL! Yup, could do that. (In fact, with no idea what colors might match both pink countertops and coppertone accessories, I did examine orange paint chips — and purple ones — and yellow ones — and several shades of green.) But then I’d really never notice the countertops, because I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to go into the kitchen!

  23. Claire
    Claire October 19, 2010 7:11 am

    G.W.F. — Thanks for the voice of experience and the link and info about painting countertops! Four kitchen remodels in four years? They’d have to put me in a straightjacket! But as a way to earn (and I really mean earn) money — kudos to you!

    You’re right about different kinds and finishes of wood looking dated — oak and that 1970s dark walnut that once seemed so dramatic and now seems merely dark, dark, dark. I’m sure at one time the pecan-ish hue of the wood in my kitchen also looked hopelessly out of style. No doubt that was part of the reason somebody decided to “improve” it by painting it white and bright green.

    White. Always safe. And definitely I can see it as a reliable choice for resale. But not for me! Not right now. Too boring. I crave a little drama.

    P.S. Sorry your message didn’t appear immediately. It got caught in the site’s spam filter for reasons unknown.

    P.P.S. I see that your link also includes -S’s info about covering countertops with wallpaper. “Paper fusion” — that makes it sound so classy. πŸ™‚

  24. -S
    -S October 19, 2010 9:50 am

    As my SO reminded me, our counters were not recovered with wallpaper but with artisanal handmade paper. Paper fusion is a much better word for the process. The paper we used included tamarind leaves. After 4-5 coats of bar-type poly we had a smooth, easy to clean surface that was even more forgiving than the underlying orange Formica. It was easy, cheap, fast, and durable.

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