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Harlequin romance — 2011 edition

A friend emailed this and I had to share. NB: It might not be safe for your nine-year-old to read.

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Harlequin romance — 2011 edition

He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone. He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear.”Just relax.”

Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves, slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat.

I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn’t care. His touch was so experienced, so sure. When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage. And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply.

Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my panties. Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking ‘No’ for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say …

… (keep going)

… (here it comes …)

“Okay ma’am, you can board your flight now.”

11 Comments

  1. Free-range Oyster
    Free-range Oyster June 6, 2011 1:42 pm

    I want to laugh and cry and puke all at the same time now.

  2. Jake MacGregor
    Jake MacGregor June 6, 2011 2:01 pm

    He had me at “Hello” …

  3. bumperwack
    bumperwack June 6, 2011 2:50 pm

    Simply beautiful…

  4. Kent McManigal
    Kent McManigal June 6, 2011 2:51 pm

    Ewwww!

  5. Big Wooly
    Big Wooly June 6, 2011 3:06 pm

    I think all 9-year-old’s should read it so they know what to expect when they fly to nanny’s house.
    As a matter of fact where is the TSA pamphlet/coloring book “It’s OK to touch me there!” or would that be considered child pornography?

  6. naturegirl
    naturegirl June 7, 2011 12:15 am

    Even Harlequin can’t make flying (now a days) enticing…..

  7. Mark
    Mark June 7, 2011 8:03 am

    Then again, maybe I won’t pass it along. It’s a little too disgusting… 🙂

  8. Claire
    Claire June 7, 2011 8:06 am

    Mark — Understood. And on your site, most people might just see the punchline coming long before it arrives. Keep up the good work.

  9. Mark
    Mark June 7, 2011 8:11 am

    Thanks, Claire. We’re in it for the long haul.

  10. Chris D.
    Chris D. June 7, 2011 2:18 pm

    Well, there’s the big “let-down” of the day….

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