Oh, this is funny

The Cato Institute has submitted an amicus brief to the U.S. Supreme Court written by P.J. O’Rourke.

Real brief. Really hysterical. The topic: Whether a state can criminalize (get this!) lying about candidates during political campaigns.

The brief opens:

INTRODUCTION AND
SUMMARY OF ARGUMENT

“I am not a crook.”

“Read my lips: no new taxes!”

“I did not have sexual relations with that
woman.”

“Mission accomplished.”

“If you like your healthcare plan, you can keep it.”

While George Washington may have been
incapable of telling a lie, his successors have not had
the same integrity. The campaign promise (and its
subsequent violation), as well as disparaging
statements about one’s opponent (whether true,
mostly true, mostly not true, or entirely fantastic),
are cornerstones of American democracy. Indeed,
mocking and satire are as old as America, and if this
Court doesn’t believe amici, it can ask Thomas
Jefferson, “the son of a half-breed squaw, sired by a
Virginia mulatto father.” Or perhaps it should ponder, as Grover Cleveland was forced to, “Ma, ma,
where’s my pa?”

In modern times, “truthiness” — a “truth” asserted
“from the gut” or because it “feels right,” without
regard to evidence or logic 5 —is also a key part of
political discourse. It is difficult to imagine life
without it, and our political discourse is weakened by
Orwellian laws that try to prohibit it.

Just gets better from there. Even the multitude of footnotes contains funnies.