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Dispatch from the Future

Writing is wonderful therapy. Thank you, creepy hoplophobe, for inspiring my latest article at JPFO.

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NOTE: The following document was found in the ruins of the Mount Weather complex in the year C.E. 2715 and has been in the keeping of the staff of the Interglobal History Museum since then. Although our scholars and scientists are still analyzing this material, it is believed to date from the era of Malia Rodham-Bloomberg (reigned C.E. 2044-2067) or her successor Mitt Kennedy Bush (reigned C.E. 2067-?).

Below is our translation.

…..

REPORT TO THE NATION ON THE EFFECTIVENESS OF GUN CONTROL
By the Blue-Ribbon Panel on the Current Crisis

BACKGROUND: Following the Sunnyside Nursery School Massacre and similar disasters, Americans in the mid decades of the twenty-first century realized that “NO GUNS” signs and similarly stringent security measures were no longer sufficient to totally eliminate deadly violence from society.

Although the gun-rights movement had experienced decades of successes, Americans finally rose up and demanded sweeping reforms. Some notable pacifists called for the slaughter of all gun owners and the torture of any politicians perceived to be pro gun. Police chiefs threatened to have their officers shoot any armed person on sight. The nation was in crisis.

With Congress in its 23rd consecutive year of disarray, the president moved to calm the fury with a unilateral series of moderate but firm measures. The president issued a comprehensive series of Executive Orders targeting firearms and their owners.

It has been five years since these Orders took effect. We, the members of this impartial Blue-Ribbon Panel, are now charged with analyzing their effectiveness and making recommendations …

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Continue reading at JPFO.

Since the “dispatch” contains only what I was able to come up with in a few hours, feel free to make your own additions and corrections to the Blue-Ribbon report in comments.

13 Comments

  1. Sam
    Sam July 12, 2014 5:44 pm

    Just fished reading “Dispatch from the Future”. What a marvelous piece of writing! My compliments to the chef. Definitely one of your best efforts. :-))

  2. Pat
    Pat July 12, 2014 8:23 pm

    Claire, somewhere between Friday and Saturday you imbibed an awful lot of Gewürztraminer. Good on you…

    I’ll have to find a better place to hide my weapons in the future ― they will NOT take my slingshot!

  3. UnReconstructed
    UnReconstructed July 12, 2014 8:30 pm

    very very good.

    Nice work, Claire.

  4. LarryA
    LarryA July 12, 2014 9:48 pm

    Instant classic.

  5. Karen
    Karen July 13, 2014 5:01 am

    Brilliant Claire! Of course now I’ll spend the day wondering whether to laugh or cry.

  6. R.L. Wurdack
    R.L. Wurdack July 13, 2014 6:17 am

    Heinlein couldn’t have done better.

  7. MamaLiberty
    MamaLiberty July 13, 2014 6:50 am

    Loved it… just don’t think the “Empire” will last another 50+ years… 🙂

  8. Laird
    Laird July 13, 2014 8:16 am

    Terrific! Thanks.

  9. Claire
    Claire July 13, 2014 10:32 am

    Thank y’all. 🙂

    Of course as soon as I turned the piece in I thought of about 50 ways I’d have done it differently, but I’m glad you enjoyed.

    And Pat, not one mind-altering substance went into the making of this piece. You’d think so. I’d have thought so if I’d have seen the transition from the original “nice folks” blog entry and that. But nope. Thanks for the grin, though.

  10. Ellendra
    Ellendra July 13, 2014 3:57 pm

    I hope it’s ok, I posted the link on Freerepublic. You have a lot of fans there.

  11. Hanza
    Hanza July 13, 2014 11:19 pm

    Worth BOTH a Pulitzer Prize, and a Nobel Prize!

  12. jc2k
    jc2k July 14, 2014 6:41 am

    I thought they repealed Posse Comitatus with NDAA(?)

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