I ate breakfast this morning on the screen porch. Fresh blueberries in Greek yogurt with honey from the dear Friends of the Blog at Molon Labe Apiary. (I used the honey their bees produced during last summer’s wildfires, which I hope they did end up calling Smoking Gun, per Ellendra’s suggestion.)
It was only in the low 40s, but mild and pleasant. The screen porch looks out on the fern-covered hill that rises just 12 feet from the back wall. Between house and hill is a small gravel plain that will eventually be a patio. It’s a teeny, tiny view, but it’s lovely and intimate and it was created through much, much hard labor by both The Wandering Monk and me.
If you stood out there and looked in, you’d not only see inside the porch, but into my bedroom, whose glass door is as yet uncovered by any blind or curtain.
Private as I am, you know how much I’d dislike the thought of anyone peering in at my bed. But as I’ve considered how best to cover that glass without lessening my own view, I’ve comforted myself with the belief that nobody’s going to do any illicit snooping. Who — other than some unlikely bad guy willing to take his life into his hands — is going to sneak into a narrow space behind the house that is obviously, blatantly, visibly my private backyard?
Then I looked up from those delicious blueberries and saw the slip of printed paper folded between the screen door and the frame:
Who’s going to creep into my obviously private backyard and peer into my bedroom? The Watchtower people, of course.
I’ve never particularly minded them, but this is taking things way, way too far. I’m putting a shoji screen in front of the bedroom door for now and the no-trespassing signs are going up shortly thereafter.
While I know that you have a major distaste for dealing with them, might I suggest you have a chat with the local PD and get a complaint on file? That way if the Jehovah’s Witnesses show up again and catch you by surprise and it gets ugly, you may have some sort of legal defense in court.
That might be best, Mike. I don’t suppose you’d want to go this way yourself, Claire, but it worked fine for me. One day, not too long after I moved here, a van pulled up to my back door and a man got out. I knew right away who he was, from the print material he was clutching… oh, and the worn bible… I answered the door, but didn’t even get a word out. His eyes went directly to my holstered gun and he literally FLED down the steps and into the van… they roared off like they were being chased or something. Never did come back. Works for me.
A fence/gate might be the best long term solution to casual intruders. I wouldn’t put any faith at all in “no trespassing” signs.
Hmmmm….they’ve never really bothered me.I tell the JW Im very comfortable in my religion,thanks but no thanks,have a great day.
The Mormons I handle a little different,give em the Im content where Im at,then I thank them for the dried food and what a nice thing they do,and how much I appreciate that,and them.Chat a little,and away they go,all is well.I like the Mormons,they are nice young people and mean well IMO.
Nowadays I have a locked chain link gate,and 2 very mouthy dogs,dont see much of any of them anymore,LOL.
A fence is definitely in the long-term plan. It just hasn’t been in the budget while the house needed structural repair. The dog is already on duty, but she and I were both almost certainly out when the pamphleteer showed up.
I wouldn’t go the the police over something like this unless it became a chronic problem. At most, I might — might — write a letter to someone at the local Kingdom Hall pointing out the terrible judgment/trespass and telling them to take my house off their call list. But like Joel with his roving cattle herd, it’s really my job to keep wandering proselytizers off my property.
I just never thought I’d have to tell them to keep out of my back yard — where nobody with a lick of sense or respect for private property would go.
I went out to a wild meat dinner last evening. Not being a hunter, it was chance to eat things I’ve never had, elk, bear, venison, boar. “It’s $10, but you can be our guest if you don’t have it. There’s a free raffle too”. (I should have recognized the sign. I didn’t) The food was really good, “please, get more, we made enough for all 300 of you to have seconds”. Want to drive your dog nuts? Get back in your car with a slab of venison in one pocket, elk meatballs in another, pulled bear meat in a cup and filet of white fish in a napkin in your hand. Poor Ruby almost popped trying to get to all those wonderful smells.
So after dinner there’s a speaker to talk about hunting. And god. And jesus. And how without Jesus you’ll never truly “know” hunting. And while I was at the table closest to the food, it just so happened to be the furthest from the exit. I cursed myself with all nice words. I kept waiting to see people mingling around, figured I could blend with the standers and make my way out. Nope, everyone sat in rapt silence and listened to tales of Jesus’ guiding hand in taking trophy animals all over the world. Jesus broke his gun and prevented him from getting a big black bear one day so that the next day he could kill a rare blond bear the next. For 40 minutes he show and telled every trophy he hunt he’s been on, and exactly how Jesus helped him on each one.
The only thing that got me through was the blessed oblivion that comes from a double helping of moist, delicious, home made chocolate cake.
At the end came the raffle. Lots of cool stuff, including guns. Along with ticket came the “May I ask you a question ?” booklet. “Please read this first then fill out the ticket”. The raffle ticket required all contact info be included, “and if you took Jesus into your life here tonite check off the box in this corner”
I wonder, do they throw away the heathens’ entries, or do they win the best prizes, then have to convert in order to claim them? I didn’t stick around to for out.
Ps. Glad you’re enjoying the honey, how’s your supply holding out?
Back in the ’90s, there was a brief wave of Jehovah’s Witness padawans around here. Generally, they were polite. Never met a really pushy one. I would just say I’m not interested, and that was that for that. I haven’t seen one in 15 or so years. As I recall, they sort of dress like Agent Smith and ride around on bikes.
As I recall, they sort of dress like Agent Smith and ride around on bikes.
That’s Mormons.
And a No Trespassing sign won’t stop JWs. A locked gate will, though. I do mean locked – merely closed isn’t enough.
Yeah. I was married to one.
On my open shifts at work, I show up usually about a half hour to 45 minutes early (I hate being late, and theres a long term road project that means frequent delays). At least twice a week, a vehicle of some sort is slowly cruising around the parking lot till they spot me just sitting in my car, and beeline over. Out pops a JW with pamphlet in hand and heads my way.
The first time i berated myself for not keeping situational awareness as i got surprised by a knock on the window. I was pleasant but shooed them off. Now im ready, as soon as i see them approach I shake my head NO as I roll the window down and yell no thanks.
Sometimes when I see them coming I will start the car up and get behind them and creep along behind them. At some point, they stop dead thinking i want around, but I will just stop and sit there till they move again, or they get out, when they do, i back up away from them and head off in a different direction.
By now, the different ones who do this know the car and dont bother anymore.
I know a number of JW’s around here. Went to services quite a few times, in large part out of curiosity. While I didn’t drink the Flavor Ade – and actually what they believe they do have very logical arguments for – I can manufacture nothing bad to say about any of them as people. And while my relationship with them hasn’t been nearly as close as Joel’s, my expectation is that simply letting them know when you see one that you’re not interested, I think, ought to stop it. But they do change assignments periodically, which means at some point a different set of people will be responsible for proselytizing in your neighborhood. Or you could look up the number of the local Kingdom Hall (i.e., church) and politely ask them not to come to your place. If that doesn’t work, then maybe further steps could be needed, but based on my relatively limited experience I wouldn’t expect so. I am aware that they are considered a cult by many, but I never was on the receiving end of any undue pressure.
This pathology is called flight of ideas. Now I’m wondering about grape flavored Flavor Ade. I should be able to find it here. https://jelsert.com/find-a-store/ Got to try it once.
JWs used to show up at my end-of-the-road country home about twice a month. A couple of years ago I asked them if they were Mormons, because my daughter had recently married one and I was thinking about joining the church too. Haven’t seen them since. But just in case, I put a Beware of Dog sign at the bottom of the driveway. My dog died in 2014.
While I’m a proponent for protective orders or trespass notices in many cases, my experience with JW and LDS indicates they aren’t necessary. A call/letter to the Kingdom Hall reporting the incident should be sufficient. in fact, I bet they have a rule about back yards being a no-no in their door-knocking policies. (If not, they definitely should.)
One thing not to try: My sister-in-law lives in a city, and JW were ringing her bell frequently. She thought sticking a Jesus fish on her door might deter them. Well, it did, but it also attracted more unsavory types, including folks looking for a handout and “But I’m a Christian too” people with “business” offers.
ML, there used to be a sign on a fence around here that was a bit more specific. “No Trespassing, Survivors Will Be Prosecuted.”
Always wanted a more “creative” sign than plain no trespassing, but never got one. I loved the one that said the dog could make it to the fence in 3.5 seconds… and asked how fast they could run. I had an Akita at the time. 🙂 I kept the gate locked, just in case.
I just talked to them. Honestly and openly and in a friendly manner. And it scared the crap out of them and, although they promised to find the answers they needed to counter my arguments and come back tomorrow, they never came back. I think I’m on a list now. And it was an absolute blast.
I lost points on Know Your Religions. So far, a polite “I’m not interested” has worked just fine..
So I just sent a certified letter to the Kingdom Hall, return receipt requested, explaining what happened and telling them to stay off my property completely in the future. No literature. No knocking on my door.
I may also talk to the sheriff to see what recourse I’d have if they come back (which I expect, over time, they will unless they have a permanent “do not call” list accessible to all their street operators). But mostly I think that’s done and over with.
“Sometimes when I see them coming I will start the car up and get behind them and creep along behind them.”
Why, Mr. Coyote. You are quite the trickster, aren’t you?
“(I should have recognized the sign. I didn’t)”
LOL, Just Waiting. I’m glad at least that the food was good. But oh, those stories sound painful! That kinda reminds me of the time I got talked into the “free” Roger McGuinn concert at a church (or was it Barry McGuire; I always mix up those two).* Anyhow, I’d heard vaguely that he’d changed since his growly “Eve of Destruction.” But little did I know.
At least my friend and I managed to sneak out while everybody had their heads bowed just before the big goodwill collection.
And thank you, I’m actually still in great shape with the honey supply. But if you ever happen to have an excess, you know where there will always be a willing taker. Never can have too much honey in the pantry.
* UPDATE: McGuire.
I just removed this site from my bookmarks.
I suppose there are some people who are so in favor of proselytizing that they think it’s okay to sneak into backyards or use sleaze/deception/pressure tactics/threats — as long as the perpetrator of the deed claims they’re doing it for Jesus.
To each his own. But I prefer my associates, Christian or otherwise, to be honest, straightforward, and respectful of others.
They don’t come around my place, maybe it the “Beware of dog he eats everything the owner shoots” sign. Come to think of it no body comes around my place unless I invite them for that matter, maybe it is the sign after all.
Even the UPS/Fed Express guys are always running when they drop something at my door, that’s always amuses me.
Thought I heard a light ‘ding’ and inside the dogs turned maniac barkers.Went out later and a JW thing was stuck to my gate.Guess they didnt want to meet dogs up close and personal.Works for me!
I guess JW’s are in season?