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On the lighter side 2: Fifty Ways to be Survivin’

By Living Freedom Forums member BearMama, with apologies to Paul Simon. (The general rule is “what happens at the forums stays at the forums, but I know in this case she won’t mind.)


“The problem is NOT inside your head,” she said to me
“There really are so many things to make you dead
I’d like to help you — take this red pill, follow me
There must be fifty ways to be survivin’”

She said, “I know that this is what they’ll call WrongThink
Furthermore, I hope you don’t see my tinfoil and call a shrink
But I’ll repeat myself — there’s gonna be some bad hijinks
There must be fifty ways to be survivin’
Fifty ways to be survivin’

You just get off the grid, Sid
Just learn to can, Stan
Set up some bees, Louise
Just get yourself free
DON’T get on their bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just plead the Fifth, quick
And get yourself free

She said, “It grieves me so to see you be a sheep
I wish there was something I could do to wake you from your sleep”
I said, “I appreciate that, and would you please explain
About the fifty ways?”

She said “Why don’t we both just sleep on it tonight
Just keep your head down and discipline your light”
And then she kissed me, and I woke up from my fright
There must be fifty ways to be survivin’
Fifty ways to be survivin’

Oh, get you some comms, Tom
Go full Grey Man, Stan
You don’t need to comply, Guy
Just get yourself free
Stay OFF their bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just keep straight your aim, James
And get yourself free

Teach your own kids, Sid
Hold on to Truth, Ruth
Add some herb plots, Dot
Just listen to me
You don’t need to discuss much
Raise your own meat, Pete
And get yourself free


  1. Jeff2
    Jeff2 July 27, 2021 5:25 am

    Now we need one to “Slip Sldin’ Away….”

  2. Toirdhealbheach Beucail
    Toirdhealbheach Beucail July 27, 2021 10:37 am

    This is definitely worth of distribution.

    Some clever musician, here is your chance…

  3. Jorge
    Jorge July 27, 2021 12:29 pm

    That is just terrific. I need to get back on the forums. Thanks.

  4. Comrade X
    Comrade X July 27, 2021 6:43 pm

    BearMama knows her stuff!!!

  5. SLeeSLee
    SLeeSLee July 27, 2021 10:19 pm

    Love it!

  6. Val E. Forge
    Val E. Forge July 28, 2021 9:27 pm

    Brav Freekin Oh! Do one to AC/DC’s “Thundersruck”!

  7. BearMama
    BearMama July 29, 2021 3:57 pm

    🙂 thanks for all of the kind feedback, y’all, and thanks to Claire for sharing it. These are fun to write. I will take these additional suggestions under advisement. The muse unpredictably strikes where it will…usually requires a narrow balance between slap-happy-tired and snarkily disgusted by some reported happening.

    But I was taking a long drive today home from an appointment, and this song came on the radio, and I began to laugh because it describes someone we all know and loathe, no parodying necessary!

    Now, I’m a jet [s]ramp[/s] fuel genius – I can solve the world’s problems
    Without even trying
    I got dozens of friends and the fun never ends
    That is, as long as I’m buying
    Is it any wonder I’m [b]not the president[/b]
    Is it any wonder I’m [b]null and void[/b]?
    Is it any wonder I’ve got

    Too much time on my hands?
    It’s ticking [b]away with my sanity[/b]
    I’ve got too much time on my hands
    It’s hard to believe such a calamity…

  8. BearMama
    BearMama July 29, 2021 5:40 pm

    Oops, sorry for the formatting tag mess. My bad.

  9. knobster
    knobster August 5, 2021 6:07 am

    Now I have that song stuck in my head…

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