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Today’s headlines

Joe Biden confesses: “I’m a moron and a waste of taxpayer dollars!”

Police department investigates itself and declares: “Guilty! We demand to be prosecuted!”

Eric Holder charged in “Operation Gunwalker”; ATF to be disbanded.

Obama orders immediate withdrawal of all U.S. troops from ______________ saying, “They can’t be there unless Congress declares war.”

Feinstein and Schumer admit hypocrisy; dismiss personal bodyguards.

DEA chief’s shocker: “Asset forfeiture without due process is illegal.”

Ben Bernanke fired; replaced by Lew Rockwell.

Supreme Court decrees: “All of the Bill of Rights for all people all the time.”

American people wake up; demand privacy, accountability, immediate abolition of 90% of government — and more lamp posts.

(Subhead: Government schools first on the chopping block)

And of course:

Happy April Fools Day!

11 Comments

  1. Pat
    Pat April 1, 2013 2:13 am

    Delusional – the woamn has Alzheimer’s!!

    But of course–what would we do with all that freedom… all that common sense in government… all those ‘representatives’ with nothing to do… all that money saved? (And why was the IRS not eliminated?)

  2. RickB
    RickB April 1, 2013 2:26 am

    At first glance I thought, “Claire is hallucinating.”

  3. Bill St. Clair
    Bill St. Clair April 1, 2013 3:54 am

    It is sad that common sense is now an April Fools Day joke.

  4. ILTim
    ILTim April 1, 2013 5:18 am

    “It is sad that common sense is now an April Fools Day joke.”

    I started to smile reading these headlines…. then, sunk back into my chair and realized how a sense of the right and just has become such a joke that it can be openly mocked. Where do I keep the bourbon.

  5. Karen
    Karen April 1, 2013 6:59 am

    Well that was fun! Happy April Fools day everyone!

  6. MamaLiberty
    MamaLiberty April 1, 2013 7:20 am

    I moved into this house in Wyoming on Arpil 1, 2006… sort of a fun anniversary.

  7. just waiting
    just waiting April 1, 2013 9:34 am

    Claire, you forgot the biggest April Fools joke of them all:

    “I’m from the gov’t and I’m here to help you”

  8. LarryA
    LarryA April 1, 2013 10:23 am

    DHS admits, “We can’t be everywhere.” Calls for formation of local militias, “Like the founding fathers had.”

  9. jed
    jed April 1, 2013 4:02 pm

    AP — Washington DC: Barack Obama admits to being born in Kenya, resigns Presidency.

    Denver Post: Hick admits he’s better suited to brewing beer, steps down as Gov.

    AFP — Brussels: Alien spacecraft encircle Earth, kidnap all members of the EU Commission, the corpse of Hugo Chavez, Sean Penn, and Paul Krugman, and transport them all to Fornax

  10. Jim Klein
    Jim Klein April 2, 2013 1:25 pm

    That was something, Claire. 30 seconds of sensibility is more than I’ve come to expect, especially from headlines. It was a nice gift; thanks.

  11. Xtexanwannabe
    Xtexanwannabe April 3, 2013 1:29 pm

    You really had me going

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