Meet the Clampetts

This weekend was the one moment of the year when a certain island full of millionaires “allows” garage sales. Once “allowed,” they do it up right.

If I were a millionaire I think I’d just give all my excess stuff to Goodwill rather than sit out in the hot sun (or rain; but this weekend it was sun) and peddle stuff for a few bux. Nevertheless, 147 households held “official” sales (there’s a map and everything, not to mention an entry fee just to get on the island) and dozens set up unofficial ones.

My friend L. and I traveled about 150 miles to indulge and both we and the millionaires seemed to enjoy ourselves. I’ve been to this event before and always been struck by how friendly the sellers are. Last time we went, one seller was drinking a Margarita and when we joked that it was too bad she couldn’t sell us a drink, she popped into her kitchen and made us each one, gratis. This year I can’t recall the number of sellers who joked around with us, helped us load up, or offered us extra-good deals. Parking on the island is next to impossible in the peak times, and one young homeowner invited us to park in his driveway for a couple hours, seeing that L. has a handicap sticker on her vehicle. Nice people. Really nice.

You have to drive or bike around the island to cover even half of the sales. As we searched for new parking spots throughout the day we envied those who had golf carts and just breezed about, slipping into tiny spots. Of course, we could have bought a golf cart. Several were for sale at various households from $2,000 to $5,999. But noooooo.

We drove home looking like The Beverley Hillbillies. Except L. absolutely forbade me to tie anything (let alone a granny in a rocking chair) to the top of her van.

You might notice that Costco was on our way home, too.

I was highly amused to score a genuine Amish electrical fireplace. Who knew those old Amish were in the electric business these days? (Actually, the cabinet is the Amish part, and very nice. Some non-Amish folks seem to have added the working parts. But an Amish-looking guy was not too ashamed to pose for the company’s brochures.)

Even though I’m sure most of these people could buy and sell my whole life ten times over, many really got into the spirit of bargain hunting. The lady at the waterfront house who sold me these leaded glass wall lamps tried to talk herself down from $2 each to two for $2 before I even had a chance to say, “I’ll take ’em!”

I had to talk her back up to $2 each.

The desk they lamps are sitting on came from the same event two years ago. The desk had a sign next to it: $15. I couldn’t believe it. That’s a solid desk and very well made; definitely not some Walmart assemble-it-yourself thing. So I asked the homeowner, “Are you really charging just $15 for that?” “No,” he replied. “I’m charging $5.” Then he and a neighbor proceeded to load it up for me.

Saturday, a young couple was, for reasons unknown, absolutely thrilled that somebody (me, of course) bought their pink, spiked dog collar for half a buck. I think they’d wondered if there was a market for such a thing. But I told them I have a pup who’s both a girly-girl and a holy terror. Pink with spikes? That’s going to fit Ava very well.

Of course there was also a ton of high-end stuff. OMG, the furniture! And art objects. To drool for. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) we couldn’t fit the $1,000 china cabinet either into L’s van or our budgets. But there were some tremendous bargains on leather sofas, brass beds, mirrored armoires, and if I could have shoehorned those two glass-fronted oak bookcases into L’s van, they’d now have a new, loving home. But ya gotta stop somewhere.

Now I’m home enjoying the cool of the evening in front of my genuine Amish electric fireplace and finishing up some delicious apricot-amaretto snacky stuff provided very kindly by K.