Doggies, pirates and of course let’s not forget the Village People

Friend G. and I went to a dog-rescue fundraising event this weekend with her dog Annabelle. Ava, known as the Queen of Mean around other dogs, was not invited to attend. Mer Majesty stayed home, well attended by neighbor J.

At the event, there were elegant purebreds …

And hapless little mutt-pups.

The woman trying to corral that rambunctious little guy is his foster mom. The pup, now 14 weeks old, came into rescue after an unconscionable jackass deliberately stomped on his leg. Abuse hasn’t stopped him from loving everybody and wanting to get into everything. (The foster mom said she did not know and did not want to know whether the abuser was criminally charged.)

There were dogs that looked like long-lost siblings …

And a few that looked like … um, dogs in dresses:

That lady was rightly disappointed her dogs didn’t win the costume contest. I think it’s because the judges were an adolescent brother and sister and no way was that boy going to cast a vote for so much frilly floweriness. A pair of dogs in sporty vests won that contest, but one of these frilly pups eventually received the “dog with the best job” award. It’s a service dog as well as a rescue.

G. and Annabelle won the contest for “best jiggy dance moves”:

What they’re actually doing there is a hip-strengthening exercise recommended by a canine orthopedist. But they were definitely doing it in style, to the tune of (OMG) the Village People’s “Y.M.C.A.”. They made a big hit with the audience.

The dog to the right is Fernando, who won “dog that has traveled farthest since birth.” He was born in Brazil.

Oh, and in the photo above with the dressed up dogs, did you notice the pirates? Yes, there were pirates:

I don’t know why there were pirates. But this event took place very near the ocean, so I suppose there were bound to be pirates. There were other strange creatures, as well:

There were also raffles, booths, bad dog jokes*, an obedience demonstration by a sheriff’s deputy and his pursuit dog (very disappointed the cop didn’t demonstrate the bitework the dog was also trained for, but apparently the cop feared traumatizing small children), and a two-mile competitive dog walk.

G., Annabelle, and I came in second in the walk. Well, third actually, because a husband and wife with two dogs crossed the finish line ahead of us. Place didn’t matter because the first 10 to return all got similar prizes. But G. and I took the competition absurdly seriously, powerwalking, plotting our moves around other competitors, and giving squinty-eyed backward glances to make sure nobody was gaining on us. We were laughing at ourselves at the same time of course. Other than a pair of middle-school girls who raced alongside us most of the way, most other walkers were just out for a nice stroll in the sunshine.

So how did we end up in second place? It was the stop at the ice cream truck that did us in. Free ice cream! Or maybe it was the two stops at the free-dog-treats-and-toys tables along the route. Anyhow, we slipped behind and G. decided that running to overtake the eventual winners might not be sporting.

Lot it mattered. Crossing the finish line, we discovered the volunteers nearby had zero idea walkers were earning prizes or that there was the slightest reason to care whether any of us came back at all. We had to practically arm-wrestle some poor woman in a volunteer hat to get anybody to take down winners’ names. We were, naturally, sporting enough to point her toward the real winners, who had already wandered off with their dogs to the playpool and water-bowl area.

For our efforts we got an insulated lunch bucket.

Win or lose, a good time was had by all. And from the look of things, much money was raised to be divided between participating animal rescues.

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* Many bad dog jokes told between various contests. A sampling of the groan-worthy routine: “Where does a pit bull sit in a movie theater? Wherever he wants.” “Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left him.”