I got this comment yesterday from BHM reader Vicki O:
I just read [your article “Circle of Friends”] on the Backwoods Home site and I have to say it is the most sensible preparedness info I’ve ever read! I grew up in the sixties reading scifi, and the decisions you would have to make if you had a bomb shelter and no one else did really stressed me out.
I live in a neighborhood i just moved to 8 months ago. I know my neighbors enough to say Hi to, but that’s about it. Can you tell me a good “opener” for inviting them to an emergency preparedness gathering? I just don’t know the best way to start that conversation.
I thought I’d answer here and throw Vicki’s query open for comments, too, since you guys are excellent at this sort of thing.
First off, thank you for the kind remarks, Vicki. Glad you found the article useful.
My initial reaction is that I wouldn’t open a conversation about preparedness with people I only knew well enough to say “Hi” to, and who might have little in common other than living in the same neighborhood. (But that’s just me, and I’ll modify that judgment a few paragraphs down.)
If I were living in a new place and wanted to make connections with people who might be open to (and capable of) making emergency or long-term preparations, I would first seek out people who’ve already shown an interest in either preparedness or self-sufficiency. For instance: Mormons; Scout leaders; Red Cross volunteers; Grange members; food co-op members; or people who serve on emergency preparedness boards (e.g. the county where I live has both government-run emergency preparedness meetings and a multi-church committee that exists solely to help out after disasters).
You might not have to invite anybody to a preparedness gathering; you might get invited to theirs.
Second, I would start making connections with people (neighbors or otherwise) who shared other interests with me — and that might mean anything from running to books to knitting to golf. Then, as I got to know and trust some of the other people, I’d gradually bring up the subject of preparedness with them.
A lot of people are either already practising preparedness or are just waiting for somebody else to spur them on. (We saw a perfect example of that just the other day.)
Here’s why I wouldn’t start with people who just happen to be neighbors. Well, there are several reasons. But the biggie is that if you open a conversation on preparedness and they’re not interested, they’re still going to remember that you are — and guess who’ll be the neighborhood go-to girl when Joe or Josie down the street is caught unprepared? (Speaking of those who-gets-to-go-into-the-bomb-shelter heebie-jeebies …)
Does this leave you surrounded by unprepared neighbors? For the moment, yes, it might. But that’s better than leaving you surrounded by unprepared neighbors who suspect you’ve got a stash they can “borrow.” And while it may mean that the next-door neighbor, whom you barely know, isn’t in your “Circle of Friends,” you’ve established a broader circle of mutual assistance within your general community.
Another possibility — if you’re ballsy, if it’s really important to you to have neighborhood preparedness, and you’re willing to take organizational initiative (as it seems you are): Volunteer with some community preparedness group (or start your own) and go door-to-door with leaflets inviting neighbors to attend a meeting on the subject. Identify yourself as a volunteer. Hold the meeting in some neutral location (libraries usually have public meeting rooms). This de-personalizes things a bit, making it more about community involvement and less about, “Hey, Vicki can probably take care of us.”
And of course, should your neighborhood be hit with a beast of a snowstorm, ice storm, wind storm, power outage, etc. this winter … then any neighbor can start talking with any other about being better prepared next time.
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So … anybody got more to add? Or anybody want to tell me I’m all wet?
Your suggestions are good. The last one is excellent. Every time there is a (rare) snowstorm here, or a tornado nearby, people start talking to each other, and that’s a big deal, because my neighborhood is full of people who keep to themselves.
How’s the rescue dog who needed the surgery doing? (I’m sorry, I forgot his name.)
Water Lily — Same here on the neighbors. I know a lot of people in the community, but hardly anybody (only the dog walkers) in my immediate neighborhood. In my case, it’s not only a matter of keeping to themselves, but some cultural and language barriers, too. But I’ve got my girlfriend in the next town building up her preparedness supplies and talking to her church friends about it.
Thanks for asking about the rescue dog — and no worries on his name; I never posted it. But Buddy is doing fantastic. He had his surgery locally and came through just fine (other than constantly getting his e-collar off and pulling out stitches). After the surgery he went to a new foster home for recovery (and thank God he did, because he required a lot of attention post-surgery). Then a couple of days ago, the trainer from the prison-pet program took him off to begin an eight-week course of training. He’ll be adopted out through the program, so we won’t see him again unless we attend graduation ceremonies at the prison.
I fear too many would NOT take action to be prepared BUT remember & think of you as THEIR pantry
when we lived in another state I tried reaching out & I remember all too well comments like “I don’t need to prepare, I’ll just come to your place”
1st item of preparedness, therefore, is a practical firearm that says “Not here, Not ever!”
final thought: most commonly accepted step towards neighborhood preparedness might be a ‘community watch’ … that can keep an eye on ‘crime’ but could easily morph with your leadership into something a little more substantial
Hi, First time listener, long time caller.
Here in my neighborhood we found that starting a garden and sharing home grown food with neighbors is a great way to break the ice. We raise rabbits and have a aquaponics system to raise heirloom tomatoes and talapia. We raise other plants in containers as well.
The idea is to get the to realize that you can start working toward self reliance even in a small space. Most folks realize the value of self produced food and produce. Once enough people grow their own there is the possibility of a farmers market just for our hood. We want to build resilient communities.
Every thing is recycled from the rabbits manure to raise worms and composting the kitchen scraps. We live in a barrio in SoCal, not the best place but you gotta work with what you have.
Next step is to produce ethanol for fuel and a community bike shop.
If
Glenn Allen — Brilliant! If you have your own blog, please post the link. If you don’t, and you’d ever like to do guest posts here oriented toward the teaching and sharing aspects of what you do, let me know.
Jake — Amen.
May also want to investigate the local group(s) of amateur radio hobbyists…a lot of them regularly participate in communication-focused disaster preparedness exercises. (Search the local ham club’s calendar for “field day”.)
Unless they’re preppers more generally, they may not know anything about, say, food storage, but they’re almost certainly the best local guides you can find to things like alternative power arrangements.
And not only have I met plenty of full-on preppers through local ham clubs, it’s the _first_ place I encountered anyone who refuted the media stereotype. I’d guess that you’re more likely to find preppers at a ham gathering than you are at any other event that’s not explicitly focused on disaster-prep topics.
Matt — another good one!
So glad to hear about Buddy. Yay!
As has been said, preppers are everywhere-even if they don’t consider themselves as such. The local bike shop(there’s one in town that teaches bike repair,and restores old ones)for one. Most of the people I know really well aren’t next door neighbors-I’m not a hermit or antisocial, but we all work different shifts,and there’s not much “overlap” in times.
Most of the “preppers” I know really don’t consider themselves as such-it’s just something done as part of everyday life,a backup plan.
Broaching the subject slowly and carefully is probably the best idea.
All your suggestions are good ones! I can’t believe i never thought to find out if a preparedness organization already existed near me. Why reinvent the wheel, right? Most of my neighbors are retiree-age folks who have been here 30+ years, with a few newbies like me, and I bet they would respond well to ideas coming from the scouts or the township.
Vicki O — Thanks for being a good sport about having your query used here at the blog. If you can, keep us posted about what you find in your community and how you’re able to share it with your neighbors.
A trick I learned in the otherkin community: if you aren’t sure how the person will react to the subject, start out with “I’ve got this crazy friend who . . . ” Then, depending on how they react, you can either bring it closer to home, eventually admitting that the friend isn’t really that crazy, in fact they’ve got you doing ____, or else drop the subject and put that person on your “unprepared” list.
Credit where credit’s due. That’s the most well reasoned article on preps to cross my path. And it’s short and readable, always a plus. Over the last twenty years I’ve read and rejected most of the Survivalism Cannon. The anecdote about Sam was classic. We’ve all been involved in the kind of decision making where someone who’s harried for answers from above, and overwhelmed with choices and limits in the immediate, prioritizes the process and screws up in the details. Decisions at organizations like FEMA are often lost in the less important points. A large comprehensive plan is filled with such unworkable details as deciding to make Sam’s house a rally point. There are many much larger and tougher decisions to make and the smaller decisions are dealt with quickly… and badly. This is why there are gaps in all planning, be it personal, group or government. And that goes perfectly to your point of working with others to fill in the gaps. “Numb” is another area that no one mentions much but is normal… and dangerous. I’m passing this to everyone in my circle. The article stresses something very important: flexibility. At some point we all have to step outside of our world and look for answers beyond our physical resources.
As for Vicki’s question, my own notions on this are half formed. Zombies walk amongst us, and they can be family, government or neighbors. Reaching out to anyone can be dangerous because we eventually have to drop our guard. One good person knowing our business, even with the best of intentions, can mean everyone knowing your business, particularly those with less than good intentions. A sense of common purpose can bind people together, and a small measure of success will also draw the less desirable elements. During hard times “co-ops” and such will be like a lion kill to society’s jackals, or even worse, Hyenas. In fact the more successful something is the larger the leech population will become. Simply stated their will never be a time when we’re safe. Being sensible will be the order of the day no matter how secure a situation looks. Maybe this is too much psychoanalysis, but it seems to me that a lot of the people involved in prepping are looking for a better world out of one they’ve not been able to create in the present one. Many of us will be drearily surprised to discover how frighteningly similar our new environments are with the like minded we’ve been seeking for years.
At the end of the day family is most likely our best starting point. Of course I’m considered crazy by my family, so obviously that’s not always possible but making the effort can be critical. I know this guy who we’ll call, “my youngest”. He’s a good kid, well known in the community, particularly to law enforcement, herbal horticulturalists and women of questionable virtue. He’s recently left the area to avoid fallout from anger management issues and is working the oil fields in the northern plains, which seemed like a good move for him, and me. In fact many people were suggesting he leave the area. About as prepared as he gets is for hunting or beer and herb after work (when he’s working). And for that he’s prepared all day and night. The youngest is Bob’s brother incarnate. The only thing he owns is a late model diesel truck, a bunch of guns, his clothes and a couple of ill behaved dogs.
However, he’s not without his charms. He’s worked in the woods as a choke setter, tree faller, a blaster and driller, tunnel laborer, mechanic, carpenter, and too many other jobs to mention, doing them all well but never for long. His “horticultural” skills are off the charts. He’s a good person to have around when things are going sideways and he can fix anything mechanical. One of his big flaws is his seemingly never ending ability to get next to the edge. But that could work out well when the SHTF. I’ll take him in a pinch. Making use of all resources is the path to success in prepping. We’re all probably saddled with these double edged swords and the trick is to make use of them.
Quoth Claire: “My initial reaction is that I wouldn’t open a conversation about preparedness with people I only knew well enough to say “Hi” to, and who might have little in common other than living in the same neighborhood. (But that’s just me, and I’ll modify that judgment a few paragraphs down.)”
Claire, you don’t know ‘NUFFIN ’bout guns!!!
Oh.
Sorry.
Different comment, from looooong ago.
Actually, that comment about nailed it. The essence of community is what sociologists call “solidarity,” and that requires having things in common. Interests, beliefs, folkways, mores, laws – the more of those you share with your group, the more “solid” the group will be. The downside is that “solid” groups demand large amounts of time and conformity, so it can be difficult for those of us who don’t work and play well with others to achieve community – and that can lead to being the one (or ones) who get voted out of the geographic region we’re in.
You can opt for Plan B, which is to be so valuable to the community that they tolerate you, even in tough times, but that, again, requires having skills and resources to hand.
Finally, bear in mind that predators exist, even within the group itself, and that preps are the sort of thing that don’t get discussed with much of ANYBODY unless or until you’re pretty much convinced that they’re the kind of people you could trust to live in your house while you were gone to Hawaii for two weeks.
I live in an area of all apartments so people come and go. For that reason I have never mentioned preparedness with any of the neighbors.
Looters will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.l