The inventor of the pink plastic flamingo (yes, there was actually an inventor) has died.
Our lives are tackier cheesier more kitschy weirder richer for his having lived.
The inventor of the pink plastic flamingo (yes, there was actually an inventor) has died.
Our lives are tackier cheesier more kitschy weirder richer for his having lived.
One person whose place we pass regularly has a whole flock (troop, mob?) of them in the yard. It’s a spectacle to behold.
Love it. Around here some civic organization used to go out once a month and plant giant flocks of them (yes, let’s go with flock) at the home of their “person of the month.” Some civic-minded soul would wake up one morning and be surprised to find themselves in the middle of it all.
Sounds like a worthwhile endeavor for local government. When I’m Benevolent-Dictator-For-Life (BDFL for short), it will be the first order of business. Perhaps the last, as well.
The article mentions that he and his wife wore matching outfits. I’m not entirely sure what to make of that.
Their home probably smelled weird.
A.G. — You and Joel are going to have to duke it out on the dictator-for-life business. I’m not sure which of you would get my v*te. You claim you’re going to be benevolent, which is frankly never a good sign. Joel … I don’t think he even pretends.
I noticed the matching outfits, too. Now I cannot get the image of checkered polyester doubleknit out of my mind. It’s pastel blue, too. I know it is.
And yes, their home probably smelled like either overdose of Febreeze or eau de wax fruit.
And they had a gadget that played “Home Sweet Home” every time the front door was opened.
I’m confident of my ability to secure the v*tes of the freedom loving hermit demographic due to my 40 year track record of being kind to well behaved children and non-edible animals. Everyone else is hereby put on notice.
As for Joel, he isn’t my dad. But he could be, in a parallel universe.
Rule #4: The BDFL gets to define (and redefine) terms as it suits his whim. Starting with “benevolent”.
😉
Febreeze? That’s certainly plausible, but I was imagining more the undefinable waftings emanating from Midwestern Mystery Casseroles (MMC).
Leftovers, anyone?
I suppose linking to outtake videos from the John Waters movie ‘Pink Flamingo’ would be in bad taste.
As I recall, a group of live flamingos is a “flamboyance.” Believe it or not.
Down here, the “honoree” has to pay a ransom to the charity of choice to get the critters removed.
Darn you guys. First, Claire Wolfe spins the cogs. Then, Jim Bovard seals my fate. Pink Flamingos… Now I can’t get the image of Lainie Kazan out of my head. “Mrs. Y.B.” is gonna’ beat my butt. She’ll just “know”. Rats.
The current candidates for “Dictator for Life” (DFL) seem, well, a bit unambitious. Allow me to offer my services in this regard. Due to the nature of the position, it’s incumbent upon me to ultimately bring my worst possible character traits to bear upon the position for your ultimate plebeian displeasure. However, to gain your vote, I pledge to initially deliver bread and circuses to you, my core constituency — all while doing away with the riff-raff and vermin of the world.
As (non-benevolent) DFL, I will:
Airlift Carlos Ghosn, the Xterra, and an 8 oz bottle of water to the center of the Ténéré; Mr. Ghosn will then be allowed to drive the Xterra wherever it suits him.
Forcibly confiscate Creflo Dollar‘s G650 and redistribute it to Claire to replace the Xterra, who can then personally observe (from a comfortable altitude) Mr. Ghosn’s progress departing the Ténéré.
Freeze the assets of the Brady Bunch and use the funds to provide complimentary .50 caliber rifles to all members of the commentariat. If the ladies find them a bit cumbersome to carry concealed, we can always force Mr. Toomey (in rags and shackles) to cart them around on their behalf.
Install 24×7 surveillance cameras in Eric Schmidt’s home and all Bilderberg meetings; footage to be used for reality TV.
Promote friendship and goodwill among my fellow dictators. Venezuela will get a complete complimentary copy of all U.S. federal and state laws as a good-will gesture to alleviate their toilet paper shortage.
Instruct the TSA to film an explicit video starring Caitlyn/Bruce Jenner and Rachel Dolezal. Anyone opposing my regime will be forced to watch it, so don’t even think about treason.
Ultimately promulgate a final solution to the feline question, at long last giving the master canine race the respect they truly deserve. In addition, any uncooperative humans will be gassed with litter box fumes. Also, all Eskies will be awarded drivers’ licenses.
And that’s just on my first day in office…. I still need to give it some more thought to properly compete with all my illustrious predecessors 😉