I wasn’t going to post today, but Jim Bovard tempted me with his Christmas musical finds. And those led me into the darkest depths of YouTubery.
If you want more traditional carols, check out the comment thread on yesterday’s post, where Christmas helpers have been posting links to sublime stuff.
Warning: what follows here may not exactly fall into the “sublime” category.
Jeff Foxworthy’s “12 Redneck Days of Christmas”:
Next up is “Santa Claus is Tapping Your Phone” sung by what appears to be a bunch of drunken members of the Glastonbury Chamber of Commerce:
In case you can’t make our the slurred and mumbled lyrics, here they are (along with other Christmas parodies, some of dubious taste). Thanks, Jim.
This next song has graced the pages of this blog before, but it’s clearly an undying classic and especially apropos in light of the latest TSA news …
“Grandma Got Molested at the Airport”:
Finally I’ll leave you with a fave of another generation, Walt Kelly’s, “Deck Us All With Boston Charlie” (which, BTW, I can sing on demand, without any form of chemical encouragement. Be very glad I’m merely typing and not recording audio). Lyrics here in case you want to sing along:
Merry Christmas One And All!
Merry Christmas Claire! Thanks for Decking us all with Boston Charlie, Walla Walla, Wash., and Kalamazoo!
Tim & Carol from the Great Dismal Swamp.
Great post, Claire! But you know that your fans will not be content until they hear you singing that phone-tapping song.
The fans clamoring for my solo on the phone-tapping song will just have to remain poor, unhappy wretches I’m afraid. But should you ever be inclined to hoist a few and then get musical on your own blog, I’ll send the clamoring masses your way.
Tim & Carol — Thank you very much for the good wishes and the mangled lyrics. May you have few alligators in the swamp in 2016.
Good morning, and “Bah! Humbug!”. 🙂
I’ve always had mixed feelings about re-lyricing. But there certainly are many that are well done. I managed to not appreciate Pogo when it was available in the comics page of the newspaper. Well, that was many years ago. I suspect I’d enjoy it now.
Quite a while back, I encountered Bob Rivers’ Twisted Christmas, all of which (and more from him) you can find on YouTube.
And, more good cheer: Volunteers give away free pot to the homeless this Christmas Eve.
Claire, I appreciate the encouragement but, under the terms of my parole, I am not allowed to tape any more songs.
From Bob Rivers: Walkin’ ’round in Women’s Underwear.
This is my favorite “mangled” Christmas song: I AM SANTA CLAUS!
@Jim: How specific is that order? “Tape” is so last decade or so (though cassette is making a comeback). What about digital recording?
True story: In Tonawanda, Grandma got run over by a … deer.
35 years ago I won $50 in a radio station call-in for knowing the lyrics to “Deck Us All With Boston Charlie”. I can still sing it now, but my wife objects, along with the Lovecraft-themed Christmas songs I sneak onto her MP3 player every year. The kids were quite well along before they knew the proper lyrics to “It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas.”
For those not yet corrupted:
http://youtu.be/3tTHn2tHhcI
@RustyGunner: Aiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee!
How could I forget! Alright, this is another favorite mangled Xmas tune. Twelve Days of Christmas – Canadian!
Good Day! Beauty!
OMG. I had no idea there were such things as Lovecraft-themed Christmas songs. Let alone that there was a fan of them who could also sing “Boston Charlie.”
@Jed: Brevity trumped accuracy.
This thread needs chipmunks.
What can I say, I’m multifaceted. I also have a weakness for unusual statuary in green soapstone
Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Pogo Okeefenokee wgah’nagl fhtagn.
Misc. links:
These are links I’d sent out in the past; most are worth watching if one feels frivolous:
Chuck Berry; for sure there’s nobody like him. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCTeXUkTFwQ
The Drifters’ “White Christmas.” A little off from their original (next link below), but the live performance sort of makes up for it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgGcrvApljY
Their original: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgGcrvApljY
Click a deer. I can’t go to this without clicking on a deer at a time, one for each verse. (this link doesn’t work anymore, and I can’t find one that does – !@#@$) http://www.robrob8.com/seasonal/merry-christmas.htm
Christmas flash mob. Wonderful. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cu_iPDPDMtY
Hallelujah Chorus at a mall. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXh7JR9oKVE
A little humor (perhaps), with some drop-off in sophistication. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQy2fHR7JHk
Rudolph needs help again. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKSwndA0SxI
And, of course, the original version of the well-known tale of Grandma’s problems. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfSb6J4jhcU
“most are worth watching if one feels frivolous:”
Today is a very good day for frivolity. Thanks, Shel. 🙂 And I can never, ever get enough of that Hallelujah Chorus flash mob in the mall food court.
And thank you for the lovely card you sent us. 🙂